


The Browncoat Revelation

by Ultra



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Bonding, Browncoats (Firefly), F/M, Firefly References, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Kissing, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Revelations, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2019-05-14 03:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14761355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: Sheldon had no idea that Penny shares one of his greatest passions, and when he finds out, it leads to a closeness neither could have imagined possible!





	1. The Mandarin Theory

Sheldon was so startled by the noise outside his apartment door that it didn’t even occur to him to let his fellow hoarders know he was ‘AFK’ before he threw off his headset and ran for the door. The truth was, the crash of fallen objects was not at all what had him intrigued, after all, many a neighbour was clumsy and stupid and this was not news. What had him all of a flutter and in a hurry was the cursing he heard and the voice which he recognised to be using such unlikely language.

“Penny...” he confirmed his suspicions as he stepped out into the hallway and she turned, still bent over her fallen groceries, to acknowledge him.

“Hi, Sheldon,” she sighed, going back to her task, “and before you start to tell me about the condensation on frozen goods and the strength of paper bags, I already heard that one. Six times!” she added after barely a moments pause.

Of course, Sheldon wasn’t even listening. He seldom if ever paid any mind to what others were saying when what was going around in his own head was far more interesting and/or superior, which it usually was. This occasion was no different to the norm.

“Penny, did you just curse quite loudly in inadequate and badly pronounced Mandarin?” he asked, still standing in his own doorway and making no moves to help his so-called friend with her groceries, even when she struggle to hold them in her arms.

“Um... maybe?” said the blonde as she stooped to pick up one carton and dropped another in the process, “Ugh!” she made a sound of frustration in her throat as she gave up and let everything fall to the carpet one more time.

“If I may...” began Sheldon as he appeared at her shoulder, startling Penny enough to make her physically jump as she turned around.

She stupidly thought he had come over to help her pick up her groceries but then realised she should have known better when he continued to rattle on, the way only Sheldon could, about her cursing before.

“As far as I can see, there would be only two possible theories for your showing your frustration through badly enunciated Chinese profanity,” he told her, holding up two fingers to emphasise his point and completely missing how pissed off Penny looked, even when she folded her arms over her chest crossly and blew her hair out of her face in frustration, “One is that you’re trying to learn Mandarin and failing rather badly to master the language. Whilst I thoroughly believe you would struggle with such an undertaking, I see no real reason why you would ever begin such a pointless endeavour,” he told her, without a hint of apology for the insult, as usual. “Number two is, whilst unlikely, the only possibility that makes sense, and that is simply that you have picked up these mutilated Mandarin curses through multiple viewings of Joss Whedon’s Firefly”

Penny’s expression had not changed much throughout his whole speech. Normally she would be bored rigid and completely lost by the end of a one-sided conversation with Sheldon, but the fact was she knew what was coming on this one and had to spend the whole of his long rambling theory figuring out how to answer.

She was a little more geeky than she had been before moving here over four years ago and meeting these guys. She made Star Trek references without thinking, she knew that the Green Lantern’s alter-ego was Hal Jordan (although that was really more down to Ryan Reynolds being a hottie than anything else) and she actually found that when there were shows on TV that mentioned physics, she could stand to watch for a while... at least until America’s Top Model came on. Yes, she had changed, she had accepted her geek side, small as it was, and the guys knew that, but this she was not ready for. Nobody was supposed to know she was just a little bit in love with the short-lived but much-loved cult classic sci-fi show that was Firefly.

“I... I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she forced out, though even she knew she was less than convincing.

Sheldon saw her flinch before answering, noticed too many signs of stress and irritation to doubt for a moment that she did indeed know just exactly what he was referring to. It surprised him that Penny could have such good taste in television. Usually she went in for the banal, pointless, and utterly annoying reality shows, or any channel on which shoes were sold. Right now she was, as far as he could tell, trying to hide love for a TV series so very close to his own heart. Sheldon might have been moved if he were not too intelligent to over-emote at the slightest thing.

“Really, Penny,” he sighed at her ineffective attempts to fool him. “I wouldn’t need to be the genius that I am to realise that the shuffling of your feet, the sweat on your brow, and the inability to look me in the eye means that you’re lying to me,” he said smartly.

Understandably, his neighbour immediately cracked.

“Okay, fine!” she practically yelled, unfolding her arms even more dramatically than she originally crossed them, “Captain Mal is completely badass, Wash is just the most frickin’ hilarious guy in the ‘verse, I want Inara’s clothes so bad it hurts, and I’d kill for Jayne Cobb to look at me the way he looks at his guns,” she rattled out, fast and furious, startling Sheldon to know end with both her tone and the facts she was spitting out wholesale, “Happy now?” she asked him finally, before turning and storming into her apartment, slamming the door shut behind her.

Sheldon looked at said door and then let his eyes wander to the groceries all over the hallway still. With a troubled frown he eventually shook his head and rushed towards Penny’s apartment

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

There was a pause after the third attempt to get her attention and Sheldon fully believed he was going to have to start over with a second round of three sets of knocking when suddenly the door opened again.

“What?” she asked.

“No,” he replied, confusing her greatly.

“No, what?” she questioned, and just when the conversation seemed doomed to fall into repetitive ridiculousness, Sheldon did at least have the good grace to stop it and explain.

“You asked if I was happy now, and my answer is no,” he informed her, with a purposeful shake of the head that emphasised his point. “My mood might be categorised as confused or intrigued, but at this precise moment, not at all happy”

“What do you want from me, Sheldon?” asked Penny in pure frustration, “Okay, so you found out about one thing that means I have a little bit of a geek side. That doesn’t mean I wanna watch your Star Wars Blu-Rays or start collecting comic books or any other pathetic thing that you would do. I just like a little Firefly is all,” she said, immediately moving to close the door in his face - Sheldon’s foot was faster.

“Penny,” he gasped with apparent disbelief, “there is no ‘all’ about Joss Whedon’s Firefly,” he told her as he followed her back into her apartment, letting the door go behind him. “It is a complex study of nine, nay, ten characters, since Serenity herself is considered to be just as important to the story as those that seek sanctuary inside her metal walls,” he explained, barely even noticing that Penny was growing more aggravated by the second and was resorting to her usual wine bottle. “Plus it is an unparalleled interpretation of a future in which old Western society has been combined with the Oriental, and with technology that far outstrips our own...”

“I know what its about, Sheldon!” Penny snapped as she downed half a glass of wine and immediately filled it back up to the top. “I watch the damn show, that’s the point of this conversation, which is now over, bye-bye!”

She encouraged him towards the door with a wave of her arm, though she knew he wasn’t gong anywhere. Sheldon didn’t let things go, it was not his nature. His nature was to go on and on about a topic until it drove you crazy, and that never took very long - hence the alcohol, though she doubted already that one bottle was going to see her through.

“No, I can’t leave,” Sheldon told Penny as if she ought to have known it. “You have to tell me how you ever began watching Firefly,” he explained as she came to sit down on the couch, wine glass in one hand and bottle in the other. “I mean, I understand that Browncoats are not all particularly sci-fi fans or purchasers of comic books. Firefly had a very wide range of supporters” he considered as he perched on the opposite end of the couch, “but I hardly think the intended demographic was blonde Nebraskan waitresses with a shoe fascination, that look good in short-shorts and abuse alcohol.”

“Hey! I do not abuse...” Penny began to say before looking from one hand to the other. “Okay, so sometimes I drink a little too much,” she conceded, before her brain caught up with the rest of what Sheldon had said. “You think I look good in short-shorts?” she grinned more than she meant to, only for her friend to roll his eyes.

“Off-topic,” he told her with a wave of his hand, almost looking ashamed that he mentioned such a thing. “The point is, since I know Leonard does not have the sense he was born with to be an aficionado of the great Joss Whedon’s work, and I have never introduced you to any of my interests or hobbies since the Age of Conan debacle, 2008” he rattled out, “my question remains valid. How did you, Penny, come to find an interest in Joss Whedon’s Firefly.”

“Okay, first,” she began answering him as she parked both her wine glass and the bottle back on the table (after filling said glass again, of course), “you don’t have to say the creator’s name every time you mention the title” she reminded him. “Second, I found Firefly one time when I was flipping channels and... I don’t know, it was interesting,” she shrugged. “It had girls in pretty clothes and muscly guys and, excuse me, more UST than most couples in a soap opera!”

“UST?” Sheldon echoed with his rarely seen look of puzzlement.

“Unresolved Sexual Tension,” she clarified.

“Oh, amen to that,” Sheldon agreed without even thinking.

“Anyway, I liked it,” Penny continued, “and I must’ve mentioned it in front of Leonard because the next thing I know he’s lending me a DVD boxset.”

“But Leonard doesn’t have a Firefly boxset,” her friend shook his head immediately. “I have a Firefly boxset. Well, actually, I have four, but you cannot borrow any of them,” he told her definitely.

Penny opened her mouth to ask why he would need four copies of a DVD boxset but just as quickly changed her mind and didn’t bother. The reason would be so ridiculous, she could already imagine it and she so didn’t want or need to hear it for real.

“It was a while after we broke up,” she explained. “I think Leonard was hoping that being nice to me might get him back into my good books... or at least my bedroom,” she rolled her eyes as she scrambled to fetch the DVDs she was talking about from the shelf and presented them to Sheldon. “See, they still have the BuyMore price sticker on, and when he gave it to me, the plastic bag was sticking out of his pocket.” She smiled. “I didn’t have the heart to tell him I knew he bought them as a gift, because it’d just be awkward, and honestly? I just really wanted the DVDs.”

Sheldon probably wasn’t listening, he seldom if ever was when people started talking about feelings or anything that wasn’t either scientific or at the very least about one of his favourite things. Firefly was precious to him, that much was clear from the way he was holding Penny’s DVDs right now, as if they were a Ming vase or something equally as expensive and fragile.

“Finally, a friend that understands,” he smiled almost too much for Penny’s comfort.

“Sheldon?” she said carefully when his eyes never lifted from the sleeve on the boxset. “Sweetie, seriously, are you having some kind of seizure?” she checked, with sincere worry for his condition.

“I never expected it to be you that understood,” he said with glee, finally looking across at her as he spoke, “but you do. A fellow Browncoat, right here across the hall!”

Penny couldn’t help but laugh, not at his crazy behaviour like she might usually, but because she was astonished by how pleased he was. Sheldon was like a child that no-one understood or wanted to befriend. By being a fan of this show, one of his ultimate favourites she was sure, it made him feel better, not so alone. He had been that child, she realised then, the one that the other kinds just didn’t want to be around and had nothing in common with. There was no way she could deny him the chance of sharing something so weirdly important to him with another person, even if it meant spending hours with him rewatching one of own favourite TV shows.

“You wanna pop in Disc 1?” she offered easily, “I could make popcorn... Okay, I’ll go do that,” she jumped up fast from the couch when Sheldon suddenly dived towards the TV, fumbling to get the DVDs out of the box at top speed.

It would be several hours and two discs later before Leonard came home to his apartment with Howard and Raj in tow, ready for their evening take-out and a game of Halo, only to find Penny’s apartment door not quite shut properly. Beyond it they heard her yelling words that were completely un-Penny-like and then most definitely two voices, both pertaining a Southern drawl...

“And what does that make us?”

“Big Damn Heroes, sir.”

“Ain’t we just!”

Pushing open the door, the three guys looked in with astonishment at Penny sat lotus style on one end of the couch with Sheldon right beside her, the pair of them so intent on watching the TV and grinning over what was happening that they never even noticed the intrusion.

“That’s... disturbing,” said Wolowitz quietly, at which Raj nodded.

Before any of the three had a chance to speak again, another quote was being intoned in stereo by the pair on the couch.

“Yeah, but she’s our witch, so cut ‘er the hell down!”

“Oh, this is more than disturbing,” Leonard muttered as he pulled the door closed, leaving Penny and Sheldon to their fun that nobody else could grasp just yet.


	2. The Firefly Connection

“Well, maybe she’s drunk,” Howard suggested, his fifth idea as to how Penny had come to voluntarily spend time with Sheldon tonight, watching a sci-fi TV show no less. “As we all know from TV, and with Penny from experience, girls do go wild when they drink.”

“Wild, yes.” Raj nodded in agreement, “but not completely bat-crap crazy!” He rolled his eyes. “If Penny were drunk she’d be calling us all cute pet names and trying to sleep with Leonard,” he reminded his friend. “I’ve never seen her quoting sci-fi with Sheldon and laughing about it. That’s just creepy, dude!”

“That is all true,” agreed Leonard as he pushed his Chinese food around in the silver tray, “but, I mean, its not like they’re not friends just like the rest of us. Remember when Penny and I broke up? Sheldon was really awkward about being caught between two of his friends, so he clearly cares about Penny as much as cares about any of us.”

“Cares enough about her to forget its Vintage Games night?” asked Raj, finding that even more strange than the blonde’s own behaviour. “Maybe he’s the one who’s drunk,” he considered.

“No.” Howard shook his head. “He’s not singing and his pants are still on. The man’s sober as a judge,” he assured them.

That was a comforting thought, since as amusing as drunk Sheldon could be, it was also a little scary not knowing how he would act. His usual behaviour could be as annoying as hell but on the up side, at least you always knew what to expect. This whole situation with him and Penny spending time together was just so unfathomable. Not least because what they seemed to be bonding over was science fiction!

Just when Leonard opened his mouth to give another suggestion as to what might be going on or how they might deal with it, the door opened and his room-mate strolled in with a happy enough smile on his face.

“Greetings, fellow scientists,” he said, grinning, “and Howard,” he added, cruelly as ever as he headed to the kitchen to get himself a bottle of water out of the fridge.

“Sheldon,” Leonard greeted him with a nod. “Its not like you to be late for a meal, or, y’know, for anything ever,” he pointed out as he watched his friend get his drink.

“I’m sorry if I caused offence.” He shrugged as he appeared from behind the fridge door. “I’m afraid I lost track of time,” he explained, at which point Raj dropped his fork in shock.

“You? You lost track of time?” echoed Howard, looking similarly stunned.

This only served to confuse Sheldon in turn.

“I’m sorry. Is your hearing impaired in some way, or are you not familiar with the concept of being so distracted that you forget to check the clock and run late for a standing appointment?” he checked, condescending as ever, as he walked over and took his usual spot on the couch.

Howard opened his mouth to say something snide back but ended up not bothering. For one thing, he really couldn’t think of a good comeback right now, and even if he could, he knew the sarcasm was likely to be lost on Sheldon.

“I think the problem that Howard is having is understanding how someone usually so fastidious about time-keeping as you could become as distracted as you seem to have been tonight,” Leonard explained, as Sheldon picked up his food and examined it for any error in his order.

“It’s quite simple,” his friend shrugged easily. “Though I am vastly superior in knowledge and IQ to the rest of you, I am still a human being. I am capable of the occasional error in judgement, a momentary lapse, if you will.” He smiled easily. “As you are all aware, I am a fan of Joss Whedon’s Firefly and it would appear that is an interest Penny and I share,” he went on to explain. “We were watching a DVD and quite forgot to check the time.”

All of his friends were staring at him now, but Sheldon barely noticed. He was too busy turning his Chinese food over in the tray and listing in his head all the things that were once again wrong with it. The mistakes made by the people at the restaurant, coupled with Leonard’s inability to protest strongly enough about said errors were only half the battle tonight. This food was also going cold and congealed in the silver carton, but it was Chinese food night so he would eat it. Two changes in one night might be a little too much to take in his fully scheduled life.

“So, you and Penny, huh?” asked Howard eventually. “What’s going on there?”

The look on his face was suggestive at best and downright dirty at worst. Sheldon seemed to notice neither of these things and gave his friend only a momentary glance before going back to his food.

“I’m sure I’ve just explained that,” he noted, spending rather longer than usual chewing on a piece of chicken that was past its best. “Penny and I have a shared interest in Firefly,” he repeated. “I’m not sure what it is you’re failing to understand about that.”

“Since when does Penny even watch sci-fi?” asked Raj, a little put out that if she was going to go geek that she hadn’t chosen him. “And why with you?”

Raj and Penny had come so close to sleeping together that one time, and he was the only truly and perpetually single guy here.

“I’m not aware of any other interest she has in science fiction...” Sheldon considered. “She certainly made her feelings about Battlestar and Doctor Who very clear - not a fan,” he confirmed, shaking his head.

Leonard was quick to agree. He knew that apart from a little original Star Wars trilogy and a brief acquaintance with Smallville, Penny was really not a fan of space or comic book type fandoms. He did know she kinda liked Firefly though, after all, he had been the one to buy her the boxset and pass it off as something he had to freely lend. He really never expected that to lead to her getting close with Sheldon, only with himself for being so generous. Way to have a plan backfire, apparently!

“Well, I think it’s nice that after all these years you two finally found something you have in common,” said Leonard, trying to cover the fact he was still a little jealous of anyone spending time with Penny when he wasn’t, even if it was the most asexual person in his peer group.

“Its not as if Firefly is the first common interest between us,” Sheldon called behind his friend as he wandered away to the kitchen. “We’ve had many long interesting conversations about your various short-comings,” he said, straight out, no hint of sarcasm or a bazinga.

Leonard was not impressed but did not get a chance to protest.

“Hey, where does this leave the lovely Amy?” Howard asked suddenly, a perfect subject change and also a genuine point of interest to him. “I mean, two girlfriends, Sheldon?” he smiled. “I’m almost proud.”

Sheldon rolled his eyes at the ridiculous suggestion.

“Really, Howard?” he sighed with apparent exasperation, but then his friends were used to that happening quite often. “As I have explained many times now, Amy Farrah-Fowler is my friend and a girl, but she is not my girlfriend,” he confirmed. “The same can be said of Penny. Therefore, I should be causing no distress to either party, or anyone else for that matter,” he explained, finally giving up on his cold Chinese food and dumping it unceremoniously onto the table.

“I don’t know, I think you’re distressing Leonard.” Raj giggled like a school boy, even as the other guy glared at him from the kitchen. “Seriously, dude, do you really think Sheldon is moving in on your ex?” He laughed out loud, the idea of it ridiculous to him and Howard both as they chuckled.

“No, I don’t,” snapped Leonard, at which Sheldon got to his feet.

“And I should hope not,” he said just as firmly. “Frankly I’m ashamed to be sitting here with you all behaving like school children just because a man and a woman choose to spend time together taking in a few episodes of a highly-acclaimed and cruelly cut-short sci-fi western!” he told them, before striding away to his bedroom in an apparent huff.

That only made Raj and Howard laugh harder, and Leonard frown. Something more was going on here that was obvious and he knew it. Sheldon was never late for a meal or any regular event for that matter. He never went to bed without eating, and he never got so wound up over a woman. Sure, he got this wound up about Firefly, and maybe that was all this was really about. After all, Leonard himself did have a tendency to take things personally where Penny was concerned. Maybe it was just him being dumb... then again, maybe not. Only time would tell.

* * *

Sheldon wasn’t at all phased by his friends comments regarding time spent with Penny. To his mind, there was nothing sinister or strange about his passing time with a woman he had long since come to admit was part of his circle of friends. Of course, she was nowhere near as intelligent as most of his peers, but Penny was kind and sweet in her way, and the only person anywhere close to him that shared his love of Firefly. He chose not to examine the situation any more closely and simply invited her over to his apartment to watch further episodes of one of their favourite television shows.

They alternated between his apartment and hers, eating snacks as they watched, unable to help themselves from quoting all their favourite lines, be it together or apart. Penny never asked why Leonard seemed to be very deliberately out when she came over to their place to watch, she just assumed he was avoiding a show he didn’t much care for. The truth was Sheldon had deliberately picked times when he knew his room-mate would be absent. He refused to make a big deal out of why, since he told himself it was only because his fellow scientist did not understand the wonders of Firefly. That and any time the ex-lovers were in a room together Sheldon was convinced that eventually they would find away to initiate coitus again, and that he could not bear. Leonard and Penny were bad enough together the first couple of times, he was not going through all that trauma again, it simply wasn’t worth it for anybody!

It was strange for Penny to realise how much more she enjoyed sharing her watching experience with Sheldon. Usually if they ended up watching TV together it was either a sciencey thing that she didn’t get, a geeky thing she didn’t want to get but he would explain at length anyway, or a reality show she loved and he insulted for the entire hour. With Firefly, they could really connect. They laughed at the same jokes and cheered at the same victories. It was nice to have someone to share with like this, and it was particularly nice for it to be Sheldon.

As the end of the final episode neared, Penny was curled up at one end of the couch, whilst Sheldon sat upright in his usual spot on the other end. Mal was atop the ship, welcoming River back aboard, after the evil Jubal Early had been ejected into outer-space forever. Penny felt her eyes welling up with tears as they always did at the happy family-type ending. By the time the credits rolled and Sheldon looked over with his mouth open ready to speak to her, her eyes were red and her cheeks streaked from crying.

“Don’t be sad that its over,” he advised her. “Be glad that it happened.” He smiled, reaching for the box of tissues on the side table and offering her one, as was customary when women cried.

“Thank you,” she said, for the sweet words and the Kleenex both. “Its not that, its just... It all worked out.” She smiled, before blowing her nose rather loudly and making Sheldon physically jump. “They let her stay, and they accept her even though she’s crazy and...” she stopped, as a surprising revelation hit her.

Sheldon was River. It was a wacky concept given that one was a present day science nerd with severe OCD and the other was a psychic genius from the future, but there were stunning similarities too. Neither of them really fit in, both too smart and too crazy to make sense to any normal person. They were struggling to find their place in the world, went through their own personal hell in the early years, until they found a make-shift family that would accept them.

Penny smiled without realising she was doing it, though Sheldon took that as a good sign. Smiling was happy, a vast improvement on her tears of sadness a few moments before. When Penny smiled the sun shone brighter, or at least it seemed to. It would be a scientific impossibility for solar activity to be genuinely connected to the happiness of one lowly waitress from Nebraska, but it was a metaphor he’d heard used before that strangely seemed to apply here. It made him smile too as this strange moment passed between them.

Penny snapped out of the odd daze first.

“So, I guess we’re done,” she sighed as she swung her feet down onto the carpet and moved to stand, “Its been fun though...”

“Wait!” Sheldon spoke so suddenly that Penny dropped back down onto the seat from a few inches above, quite surprised. “We’re not done. We’ve only watched all the episodes in the series in their standard form,” he explained, picking up the box and shaking it at her as he continued. “We still have commentaries, behind the scenes extras, the gag reel,” he went on. “Not to mention the follow-up movie, Serenity.”

“No!” Penny’s sudden yelling had Sheldon visibly jumping back against the couch cushions. “No, no, no! I have never seen that movie and I never want to!” she said vehemently, pointing a finger at him and backing up as if afraid that getting too close would change what she was saying. “Okay, I know somebody dies in that movie, one of those characters that I love, so no, I will never, ever watch!”

Sheldon’s mouth dropped open of its own accord and he didn’t even notice enough to close it again. An avid Firefly fan, as Penny was, someone he might even call a Browncoat, and she had never seen Serenity? It was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard.

“Penny that is preposterous logic.” He shook his head at her. “If you were a true fan of Firefly you want, nay need, to see the follow up movie, with every fibre of your being,” he told her vehemently.

Still his friend and neighbour continued to protest, going so far as to get to her feet to make her presence better felt and her point all the more valid apparently.

“I love those characters, Sheldon!” she told him, gesturing madly at the TV on which she’d been watching the crew of Serenity just moments before. “I’ve watched them over and over, and the idea of one of them dying... No!” She shook her head definitely. “No, I can’t and I won’t watch it!”

With that she turned on her heel and slammed out of the apartment before Sheldon had a chance to argue anymore.

“Well,” he declared with a sigh, “she is more than a little whimsical in the brainpan.”


	3. The Illogical Blonde Conundrum

“And I simply cannot understand how Penny finds it reasonable that she call herself a fan of Firefly, and yet has deliberately avoided the sequel movie, Serenity,” Sheldon rattled on, as he had been now for quite some time to poor Amy.

She was bored to say the least, having counted the ceiling tiles of the lab twice already whilst waiting for him to finish his rambling. As much as she cared for her friend, and did not mind at all that he wanted to discuss her bestie in this way, she kind of wished he would pause for breath long enough for her to speak herself. To Amy’s mind a conversation ought to involve at least two people. With Sheldon, it seemed highly reasonable to him that he have one all on his own.

“If I might actually interject something before you begin a further lengthy chapter of your story,” she said sharply. “You do seem to be rather distressed over something that can have no real effect on your own existence”.

“What is your theory based on?” asked Sheldon with a look of puzzlement, rarely seen in scientific situations, but often present during moments of sarcasm or humour - he wondered now if there was a sly Amy smile coming, her own version of his patented bazinga.

“Well, from what you’ve told me, you seem to be highly disturbed by Penny’s not wishing to watch a movie,” she summarised. “Since her not watching said movie does not inhibit you from viewing it, and furthermore you have seen it previously many times...”

“One hundred and forty seven to date,” Sheldon interjected before Amy could continue.

“Noted.” She nodded once. “In any case, I fail to see the connection between Penny’s lack of need to watch Serenity and your own state of being,” Amy concluded succinctly, before pushing another potato chip into her mouth.

Sheldon had hardly touched his own lunch. He was so very distracted, it seemed, and more for talking about this problem (that his friend-who-was-a-girl failed to see as such) than consuming food. Now he was mulling over Amy’s premise, determined to find holes in it. To be fair to the neurobiologist, it wasn’t all that easy.

“It is not her lack of watching the movie that unsettles me,” he said eventually. “It is her lack of understanding and illogical nature! Fan is a derivative of the word fanatic,” he explained, in the way only Sheldon could, “which itself derives from the Latin fanaticus, meaning divinely inspired or frenzied,” he went on. “Could a person who is frenzied or who worships something as divine possibly want to ignore a large part of the available subject matter involved in the very thing of which they were a fan? I think not,” he said definitely, finally turning his attention back to his food.

As far as Sheldon was concerned, he had won the point, and there was just no arguing with him. Truthfully, Amy found he was right in his assumption that she could not find a counterpoint. The fact of the matter was, his explanation made perfect logical sense, but he was dealing with a person, namely her bestie Penny, who was rarely logical herself.

“I’m afraid we may be suffering from something of a conundrum,” she said then. “Not because the facts you put forward are incorrect, of course, but because you are dealing with something that logic has no room for - the ordinary Nebraskan blonde.”

Sheldon had to think about that one. It was true that Penny was far from reasonable and logical about things. She had so many strange, outlandish opinions, that he could never make sense of, some of which flew directly in the face of scientific fact. Perhaps it was wrong of him to try and make sense of someone so nonsensical, but then Sheldon being as he was found it very hard to just give up and let go.

Still, for now he was willing to change the subject when Amy Farrah-Fowler tried. It was not socially acceptable to stick to one topic of conversation when another person clearly had something they needed to discuss. As much as Sheldon was sure to be bored and not paying as much attention as was necessary in this new line of conversation, he would forebear in order to be a good friend. Honestly, if people only knew how he suffered for their happiness!

* * *

“Hey, Penny,” her neighbour greeted her with a grin almost too wide for her face as she climbed the stairs and met him in the hallway.

“Hey, Leonard,” she said smiling as she passed him and headed to her door, balancing her laundry basket on her knee. “Hey, how come you’re not at work?” she asked then, with genuine curiosity as she turned back.

“Oh, I just...” he began, peering over his shoulder at her, as she continued to look at him strangely, “The thing is, I was...”

Something wasn’t right here, and even Penny wasn’t so dumb she couldn’t tell. Leonard was up to something, or hiding something. She knew the signs, and not just because they used to date. Nobody stood so rigidly with their back to another person unless something was wrong, especially when those same two people were having conversation. Penny continued to stare at Leonard with her own brand of disbelief written on her features, until his resistance finally crumbled and he sighed, turning around.

“Okay, fine,” he huffed as he revealed the state of himself to her.

Penny put one hand over her mouth to hide her giggles, almost dropping her laundry all over the floor in the process. Poor Leonard, he really was such a clutz, proven by the fact he appeared to be wearing the better part of his lunch all down the front of his shirt and pants.

“Oh my God!” Penny chuckled, unable to help herself. “What did you do to yourself?” she asked, putting down her basket as she came over to get a better look. “Is that chilli?” she checked.

“Yes,” the little guy sighed. “I know, I’m a physicist, I should be able to use a microwave oven, but I swear somebody messed with the settings and the second I opened the door, the whole thing just exploded on me,” he explained, looking entirely pissed with the day in general.

Penny could sympathise. She had plenty of days that made her feel that way. Today, surprisingly wasn’t one of them, but she’d had plenty before.

“I should go let you get cleaned up,” she said then, turning back onwards her own apartment. “The TV is calling my name. Got some serious viewing of soaps to do,” she semi-joked. “Its the advantage of working the late shift so much, free time in the daytime,” she said with a wink, making Leonard laugh.

“Really? Soap operas?” he checked, stopping her in her tracks just inside her own door when he continued. “I heard you were more into science fiction these days”.

He was grinning again when Penny looked back at him, but she wasn’t quite sure why. Clearly, he had heard about her and Sheldon watching Firefly together, though why he found it so funny, she hadn’t a clue. She found herself giggling to match anyway after a while as she recalled what Sheldon himself had said about Leonard and the sci-fi Western he did not appreciate as they did.

“Figures you wouldn’t understand,” she chuckled. “Sheldon said you didn’t. In fact, he said...” she stopped then, shaking her head, and covering her mouth with her hand to stop both further words and giggles both.

“No, come on, what did Sheldon say?” Leonard prompted, sure that he ought to be equally as amused by whatever was making Penny laugh so much.

She thought carefully before she actually revealed the truth. Sheldon said some pretty harsh things sometimes, to your face more often than behind your back. It wouldn’t come as too much of a shock to Leonard to hear that his friend had been less than pleasant about his level of intelligence or lack of same. Penny would like to think she was a better person than that, but honestly? Kinda not. Any chance to get one over on the smart people was fine by her, even Leonard, since even he had a tendency to be a little up his own butt about that kind of thing at times.

“Sheldon thinks that the reason you don’t ‘get’ Firefly is because you’re just not smart enough,” she explained, biting her lip so as not to laugh long and hard directly in his face.

“I... I’m not smart enough?” Leonard echoed with a hand to his chest, “Oh my God, but you are?”

The moment the words were said he regretted them. His high intelligence versus Penny’s lowly education had been one of the main awkward sticking points in their romantic relationship before. It certainly wasn’t going to help their still awkward friendship if he was willing to pretty much call her an air-head just like that, without a moments pause. Her eyes went comically wide, though there was nothing funny about the way he knew he had just hurt her. Hurt Penny was never good, because that hurt came out in anger.

“Listen here, Mr Can’t Work A Damn Microwave Oven!” she yelled at him, pointing an angry finger in Leonard’s direction. “I might not be the biggest brain in the world, but neither are you!” she reminded him. “There are guys waaaay smarter than you”.

“What, like Sheldon?” he scoffed, knowing it was true and obvious to all, but still not willing to really admit it aloud.

“Yes, like Sheldon!” Penny confirmed, folding her arms across her chest smartly. “And he thinks I’m smart too” she smiled confidently.

The expression slipped off her face when Leonard continued to rant at her, practically laughing in her face at the same time.

“Sheldon also thinks that if he wears his Monday underwear on a Tuesday, life as we know it will end,” he pointed out crossly. “He may be intelligent, but he’s not smart”

“Yeah, because you’re so much better!” Penny yelled back at him, stalling for time because she knew she couldn’t really argue the valid point he just made. “Y’know, sometimes I wonder why I ever dated you!” she said, words meant to wound and clearly they did.

“Well, I don’t know why I dated you either!” he shot back, pointless and childish as it was to say so.

“Huh, like that takes a lot of working out!” she laughed humourlessly, knowing full well that a lot of her appeal to the opposite sex was physical. “If I’d known how you were going to turn out, I never would’ve dated you in the first place”.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have,” he agreed. “You have so much in common with Sheldon, maybe you should’ve just dated him from the start!”

“Maybe I should have!” she shot back, without even really thinking about what that meant until the words were out there.

Her hand shot to her mouth then, stopping any more ridiculous things from escaping. Penny might not have cared so much what she said, except for the fact that she’d just caught sight of Sheldon coming up the stairs. He arrived in the hallway with a decidedly bemused look on his face, standing an equal distance between his friends now and looking back and forth a moment.

“What is going on here?” he asked Penny, apparently genuinely confused, then he sighed heavily and looked to his left. “Leonard, did you make a fool of yourself by trying to engage Penny in coitus again?” he checked.

“I wouldn’t sleep with him again if he was the last man in the ‘verse!” the blonde retorted before Leonard could even open his mouth. “He’s being a complete jerk, and I don’t know what I ever saw in him”.

Sheldon gasped with abject horror as he looked from Penny to Leonard.

“Have you been making nefarious comments towards Firefly again?” he asked, arms folded and foot tapping as if he were an annoyed parent, constantly aggravated by his child’s unruly behaviour.

“No, I...” his friend began to protest, but Penny saw an opportunity and leapt on it.

“Actually, first he dissed Firefly, and then he started in on you, and on me,” she said happily.

“I don’t see why you’re so excited.” Sheldon shook his head at her next, causing the smile to drop from her lips in a moment. “I’m still not entirely happy with you and your on-and-off allegiance to the ranks of our beloved Browcoat army,” he admonished her.

“Oh, for God sakes!” Leonard exploded at last. “Not everything in life is about stupid-ass Firefly!” he complained loudly before slamming into his apartment in a temper.

Penny and Sheldon stood staring a moment, neither sure what to say or do after that outburst. Of course, Sheldon was also wondering why it looked as if a bowl of chilli had exploded on Leonard’s shirt, and how it had come to the point of him and Penny being close to blows when he arrived home!

“For a man so short in stature, he carries a lot of anger inside.” He shook his head sadly, before finally turning away from the door and looking to Penny, “You would think that his mother, the wonderful Dr Beverly Hofstadter, would have produced more level-headed offspring”.

Penny opened her mouth to point out that, for the most part, Sheldon was nothing like his mother either, but soon thought better of it. She already got in a fight with Leonard today, she didn’t really want to start in on Sheldon too. After all, he seemed to be a little more on her side than Leonard in all this, which made a nice change.

“Hey, how come you’re home so early?” she asked, as the thought suddenly occurred to her.

It was only a little past lunch time, and it was very unlike Sheldon to mess with his own schedule. Since he clearly hadn’t had a spill incident like Leonard had, and didn’t look sick at all, it didn’t make much sense.

“I decided to work from home this afternoon,” he sighed with apparent exasperation. “Rajesh is being more than a little trying on my nerves today,” he explained. “His behaviour has been so unruly, frankly, he’s lucky I didn’t send him for a time out in the hallway.”

Penny tried to laugh at the ridiculous picture in her head of a little Raj, dressed like a school boy, out in the hallway, sucking on his thumb. Sheldon would have done it too, she knew that, despite the fact the so-called ‘unruly behaviour’ he was talking about probably consisted of just eating too loudly or suggesting Star Wars was better than Star Trek. He certainly hadn’t seemed any more impressed with Leonard’s behaviour today. To be fair, they could all be pretty childish sometimes, even Penny herself, though she preferred not to admit it. Of course, there was evidence enough against her. Sheldon had a point about her not being a real Firefly fan if she wouldn’t watch the movie that followed it. At the end of the day, whoever died, it was only a movie and not real life. She could handle it, and she’d have her friend there to hold her hand, however metaphorically, if the worst was true.

“Hey, Sheldon?” she said, getting his attention back from the apartment door he was still contemplating so intently. “You wanna watch a movie?” she asked as he turned to look her way.

The smile on her face ought to make it obvious which particular movie she was referring to, but that didn’t guarantee Sheldon was going to get it. Leonard got one thing right at least, as intelligent as the guy was, as many qualifications as he had, he wasn’t all that smart when it came to other more basic things, like simple human interaction. Still, when his eyes lit up that way, Penny was pretty sure he’d caught on.

“You don’t mean...?” he began, and she nodded her head.

“Sure, why not?” she agreed, laughing because she just couldn’t help it as he bolted into his apartment faster than the Flash to fetch his much beloved DVD of Serenity.

Leonard passed his friend in the doorway, wearing clean clothes now, but still grumbling crossly. He looked from Sheldon’s back disappearing to his bedroom over to Penny stood in her own doorway.

“Whatever else happens,” she told him smartly, making a gun of her fingers and pointing it at him, “you can’t take the sky from me, Leonard,” she declared, ‘shooting him down’, before closing the door to her apartment on him.


	4. The Character Death Reaction

“Hey, Amy,” Leonard greeted her with a genuine smile, having calmed down considerably from his lunch time argument with Penny and Sheldon. “What’re you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to meet Sheldon,” she explained, “but Rajesh informed me he returned only briefly after our lunch date and then went home.”

“Yeah, he did show up there." He nodded in agreement.

“Excellent. I was hoping I might get a ride with you in your car, to save on another disturbing bus journey,” she told him. “It seems there are more than a few people using public transport these days that have yet to discover antiperspirant deodorant.”

Leonard shuddered at the very thought of what she was saying, before opening his mouth to agree that he would indeed be willing to take her home with him. He stopped short of actually speaking when a wickedly evil plan came to mind that made him smile.

“Are you amused by a lack of personal hygiene,” Amy asked in confusion, “or are you simply very pleased by the thought of me travelling with you in your vehicle?” she checked, unsure whether proper protocol dictated she should be flattered or disturbed.

“Er, neither, exactly,” Leonard floundered a moment, forcing the over-wide grin off his face. “I was just thinking... I actually have to work late tonight. Lots to do, can’t possibly leave yet,” he lied badly, though Amy didn’t seem to notice it, “but you should go over to the apartment and surprise Sheldon. I’m sure he’d love to see you,” he said, smiling some more.

“Hmm,” Amy seemed to consider his proposal. “I have to say, for the most part Sheldon does not seem overly open to the concept of surprises, be they good or bad.”

“True,” Leonard was forced to agree, “but this is you we’re talking about, his most special girl friend.” He smiled, reaching in his pocket and producing his keychain. “Here... take this,” he said as he prised his door key away from the others, “and go surprise our guy. I know he’ll be just thrilled to see you!”

Amy almost wondered if there was something strange going on as she took the key from the overly smiley Leonard and thought about what he was advising her to do. His plan seemed wrong and unsound in so many ways, and yet he did perhaps have more information to work with than she did herself. It was her understanding, both as a woman and a neurobiologist, that men preferred to share certain information with their fellow males, whilst keeping certain things a secret from the women in their lives. There was a chance that Sheldon was the one that was planning a surprise for her, and Leonard was merely the emissary in all this, helping set up something wonderful for her.

“Thank you, Leonard.” She smiled with delight at the thoughts of what her almost-boyfriend might have planned for her. “You’ve been most helpful.”

“Any time.” The physicist was grinning still as he waved Amy off on her journey to his own apartment. “I am a bad person,” he chuckled to himself as he went back into his office and closed the door.

It was true, this was not really his finest hour, but he deserved a little revenge after the way Penny and Sheldon had treated him earlier. Letting Amy find them all cosy on the couch was almost too good. They were bound to be in the guys apartment and not Penny’s own because Sheldon must have his spot in order to watch a favourite movie of his. He had never quite found a spot to call his own across the hall.

Whilst Sheldon believed he had no actual girlfriend, Leonard knew better. Amy saw herself as Sheldon’s better half and was bound to be mad if he thought the woman she called ‘bestie’ was trying to take her man away. It would get fixed just as fast as it started, no doubt, since Penny would never have any serious interest in Sheldon, and the genius himself seemed to have no interest in any woman at all! For a while though it’d all be very awkward and uncomfortable, and probably put a downer on one of Sheldon’s favourite movies that Leonard himself considered dumb in the extreme. That was enough for him today.

* * *

Despite having seen the movie so many times already, Sheldon was engrossed enough in Serenity that he was hardly aware of Penny’s reaction to it. There were times when he felt obligated to point out certain facts to the blonde, and other times when he would speak the characters lines along with them, because it simply had to be done. For the most part, however, he was hardly aware he had company at all.

Penny had to admit, if even in her own head, that she was enjoying the movie. For the first half hour, she had been holding her breath, waiting for the axe to fall. She knew somebody died in the movie, one of her beloved main characters, and she dreaded finding out who it might be. Still, after a while she let go of her fear, lost in the fun of the adventure Mal and his crew were undertaking, wondering at River’s new found fighting skills, and the mysteries of Miranda.

The crew rushed back to the planet where Shepherd Book was staying, only to find the place ravaged. Everyone was dead or dying, and that included the good man of the Lord that had lived upon Serenity for so long. Penny’s eyes welled up as Mal said a final goodbye to the preacher and the old man passed away in his arms. This was it, the death of a beloved character. She sighed when that scene was done, and it sounded a little too much like relief for Sheldon not to react.

The DVD was paused by his own hand and he turned in his spot on the couch to look at her with a curious expression.

“What?” she asked, blinking hard. “I’m not supposed to care he died?” she checked from the other end of the couch.

“Yes, I expect you to care,” Sheldon confirmed with a nod, “and frankly a little more than you seem to,” he told her, folding his arms across his chest. “Now, I personally am not a particularly religious man. Much like Mal, I fail to see how one can base their entire life around an entity which no man can proves actually exists,” he explained, “but at the same time, there is also no proof that he does not, and a man that is willing to stand up for his beliefs, no matter what they are, is stronger than a man that can’t,” he went on, even when Penny opened her mouth to interrupt. “In any case, given that I know you have yet to read the excellent back-story comic book ‘The Shepherd’s Tale’, it is still clear from the evidence provided in the TV series that Derrial Book was not always a righteous man, and turned his back on those days to become a far better person. That showed a huge amount of courage and character.”

“Sheldon,” Penny jumped in as her friend took a breath at last. “I know all this, sweetie” she confirmed. “You don’t need to explain it to me, I know Book was cool,” she told him. “The whole kneecaps thing in War Stories? One of my favourite quotes, ever!” she enthused. “But out of everybody on the ship... I dunno, I think I’d just be more upset if somebody else died, like Mal or Zoe or Wash or Jayne...” she rattled off as she settled back down in the cushions to watch some more.

Sheldon looked sideways at her. Poor Penny, she had no idea what was coming. Book was but the first death in the movie and she had more to endure when Wash was taken in the final act. He could warn her, of course, soften the blow perhaps, but subtlety was not his strong point, as many had told him, and more important than that, spoilers were nobodies friend.

“Let us continue,” he said at length, hitting play and letting the movie continue.

* * *

She didn’t know what was coming.

Sheldon wasn’t sure if he felt better or worse for Penny than he did for himself because she had no idea what was about to face her. The warning meant he would not be startled his ownself when the Reavers spike impaled poor Wash, but then the surprise was all gone as he knew what was coming on this, his one hundred and forty eighth viewing of the movie. He wondered if Penny would be moved at all. Shepherd Book brought no great emotion from her, but she did seem to have a soft spot for the ships amusing pilot. Well, honestly, who wouldn’t? He was just such a nice and decent man, and poor Zoe was about to be heartbroken. Even the usually unemotional Sheldon didn’t really want to bear witness to this moment again, as Wash spoke his final half a line.

“I am a leaf on the wind,” he saidm smiling, “watch...”

Penny literally screamed when the spike came crashing through the plexi-glass and skewered the pilot through the chest. Her hands were at her face as she sat forward in her seat, staring with apparent horror at the screen.

“No!” she cried indignantly. “They can’t just... Because Book was...” she rambled some as she pointed between the TV and Sheldon, hoping he was going to have some kind of explanation. “How the frickin’ hell did that happen?!” she eventually asked outright.

“Please, Penny,” Sheldon rolled is eyes. “You thought Book would be the only sacrifice?” he checked. “This is a Joss Whedon production!” he reminded her, but she wasn’t really listening.

She saw only Wash’s limp and broken body and the pain crossing Zoe’s face. It was awful, horrible, the tragedy she had hoped to avoid by not watching this stupid (awesome, but stupid) movie. With tears in her eyes she did what came naturally when upset by something like his, she clung to nearest body for comforts sake. She perhaps hadn’t thought through on the fact that the person she had decided to hug was Sheldon, and only really thought about it properly when she realised how stiff his body was beside her.

Penny’s brain caught up to the emotional reaction of her body and she considered moving away, until she realised Sheldon was now moving. He didn’t feel quite so much like leaning on a wooden block now, and his arm was around her with her head tucked under his chin.

“There, there” he told her, in a not-quite genuine tone, but that wasn’t necessarily his fault, since he was hardly great at sympathy and comfort, “It’ll be alright, keep watching” he told her.

Penny couldn’t help but smile, despite the tragedy she had seen on the TV screen a moment before. Sheldon was making an effort to be kind to her, and that was pretty amazing. He wasn’t yelling because she was encroaching on his spot on the couch or even his personal space. He wasn’t freaking out about the germs she might be getting on him, and he was genuinely trying to make her feel better when she was clearly upset. It was adorably sweet and she wasn’t about to ruin in by passing comment, she just made herself comfortable (which was shockingly easy) and continued watching Serenity.

The crew went into battle, all guns and explosions, as the Reavers attacked. River rushed thorough the cargo bay doors, and danced her way through the fight of her young life. It was epic and amazing and for a little while Penny even forgot the awful truth about Wash’s death. She watched the crew she had loved for eighteen episodes of Firefly take on the biggest fight of their lives, and eventually win, all be it with two casualties from their numbers, and Mr Universe too.

There were tears in Penny’s eyes again that began leaking all down her cheeks as the movie came to end at last. Kaylee and Simon were happy together, Inara was going to stay with Mal, and River would be okay. It had been an exhilarating, mind-blowing 119 minutes (plus time taken for Sheldon to pause and over-explain things every so often) but it wasn’t just the movie that had Penny feeling strange. She was pretty much lying in Sheldon’s lap at this point, and the fact he hadn’t complained was just about as crazy as how comfortable she felt.

Turning to look at him, Penny found she was not alone in finding this whole thing a little weird. Sheldon hadn’t said he was uncomfortable and he seemed surprisingly not rigid about their closeness, but he was looking at her in the strangest way.

“Good movie,” she said, thinking somehow it made more sense to talk about that than anything else, wondering why she hadn’t moved and yet not doing so still.

“I hardly think ‘good’ covers it,” he told her, “but...”

No more was said as the apartment door came open and Amy appeared, clearly startled by the sight that met her eyes. She had been smiling for all of a nanosecond, until she realised her bestie was half-lying on top of the man she saw as her boyfriend, his arms around her. It didn’t look good, and Penny knew it, sitting up fast and narrowly avoiding smashing Sheldon’s jaw with the top of her head.

“Amy!” she grinned too wide. “Hi!” she exclaimed, just knowing that her friend would have taken this all the wrong way. “Um, well, yeah,” she said, scrambling to her feet when Amy just continued to stare with a stony expression, and Sheldon seemed not to realise what was even happening here, as usual. “Thanks for the movie Sheldon. Bye!” she called as she practically ran from the apartment.

Amy never even turned to watch Penny leave, just continued to look to Sheldon for an explanation.

“I don’t know why you’re standing there looking so affronted,” he sighed at length as he moved to put away the Serenity DVD. “I have offered you several chances to watch Firefly and Serenity with me and you always refuse.”

Yeah, much like always when it came to relationships or feelings, Sheldon didn’t get it.


	5. The Hugging Debate

Penny wasn’t sure what to think as she paced the length of her living room a couple more times. She had to be going crazy, she really had to. Running out of Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment the way she had just made her look like she had something to feel guilty about, and Amy was bound to think the worst, even though the worst was ridiculous. It wasn’t as if she put the moves on Sheldon, Penny knew she would never do that. First, because she knew how Amy felt about him, and second, because she wasn’t in the least bit attracted to her neighbour like that.

Of course, it wasn’t that Sheldon couldn’t be nice enough when he wanted to be. Sometimes he was totally sweet and decent when he just tried a little, and it was adorable how he let her stay close to him that way when Wash died in Serenity and made her all upset. That didn’t mean she and Sheldon were attracted to each other, Penny told herself, not that way, because that was ridiculous.

It was only then, as she dropped down onto the couch cushions with a dull thud, that Penny realised how many times she had said ‘ridiculous’ in her head now. There was no reason she could see why she would need to convince herself so much that she and Sheldon were no more than friends. He was no closer than that with anyone, not even Amy, and the rest of the gang had long since referred to the pair as if they were a couple. Sheldon didn’t approve of course, always explaining that Amy was a girl and a friend, but by no means a girlfriend. It was just the same relationship he had with Penny, that was what he insisted, and yet it didn’t seem the same at all, not until today.

There was a deep frown on the blonde’s features as she went over things in her head. She had never seen Sheldon hug Amy, in fact her so-called bestie had made a big deal out of how much fuss she had to make to get her ‘boyfriend’ to even hold her hand. He put his arms around her only once and then it was under duress, so Amy had said, and yet Penny could count several times Sheldon had willingly grabbed her in a hug.

“No,” she said to herself then, with a definite shake of her head to hammer the point home. “No, that’s... ridiculous,” she repeated that same word again, and then got mad at herself for it.

If anything was ridiculous it was Penny and her own internal rambling. She laughed out loud when she realised she was actually making a case for herself and Sheldon to be more of a couple than him and Amy! She must be going crazy, she told herself, deciding that even though it was the wrong side of six, it couldn’t really be too early for a drink. She was going to need one, Penny was sure of that, and got up to go into the kitchen area and pop open a bottle of wine.

Still, her mind wouldn’t stop wandering. She was the only one amongst them that ever got Sheldon to drink alcohol. She was the one he came to for advice about the ‘real world’, all the stuff he didn’t understand because he was a pure physicist and barely human in the beginning. These days he did better, these days he was good company. They had sat many times in companionable silence just reading or watching TV. He made a big deal of coming over to eat or just hang out in that awkward time when Penny and Leonard first broke up. He was always there.

Firefly had been their real connection, Penny realised. It was the excuse they needed to get closer. They spent hours re-watching the boxset and somehow he had convinced her to watch a movie she had avoided for years. With Sheldon there, it hadn’t seemed too scary to watch and wait for the axe to fall. When the worst happened and a beloved character died, she really hadn’t expected Sheldon to be any comfort to her, and yet he proved her wrong again.

Sat on the couch with the TV playing away to itself and a bottle of wine on the table slowly emptying into her glass unnoticed, Penny started out wondering how Amy could ever think she and Sheldon would make a couple, and then fell asleep almost certain she could see the reason.

* * *

Sheldon was horribly bored and terribly confused, the first of which he was used to and the latter, not so much. For one so intelligent, he was well aware he had little knowledge of social interactions and his behaviour was sometimes questionable to those more sensitive and well-versed in the details. When it came to Amy Farrah-Fowler, Sheldon had hoped for a long time that he had found a kindred spirit, a woman after his own heart when it came to such ridiculous things as dating. Unfortunately, the more time spent with Amy, the more she proved herself to be easily swayed by her female hormones and the goading of the women in her increased social circle. This was far from a good thing in Sheldon’s opinion.

So far, they seemed to have spent an hour discussing the act of hugging, and Sheldon was no further forward now than he had been when they began. As far he could tell, Amy seemed to be unable to marry his dislike of physical contact with his holding Penny during their movie watching. Perhaps he was struggling to explain to her because he did not have a reason for it himself, but all he would tell Amy was that he was nothing if not a good friend, and hope that would suffice. Apparently, it didn’t.

“Nevertheless, you cannot fail to see my problem with the situation,” his friend who was a girl argued her point. “All attempts that I have made to initiate contact between us have been met with resistance. You seem indifferent to my affections and shy away from something as simple as hand holding, and yet seemed quite comfortable with Penny lying in your lap.”

“I hardly think your description of our position is apt,” said Sheldon with a shake of his head. “Were Penny to fit in my lap, she would have to be a good deal smaller than she is, and in any case, I in no way initiated the contact which you were speaking of.”

“Who initiated the hug is almost completely irrelevant,” countered Amy. “If I were to throw myself into your sinewy arms in this moment and attempt to kiss you, you would shy away, and stiffen in response,” she told him what he was already knew. “I would like to clarify that the stiffening I speak of would be in your whole body borne out of panic rather than in the male member that often has this reaction to female contact.”

“Duly noted.” Sheldon nodded once. “But again, you’re mentioning kissing and things of a romantic nature, none of which I have ever undertaken with Penny and would never wish to,” he told her easily. “She was simply startled and upset by the events of the movie, and clung to me for comforts sake, as females are wont to do in such situations. In fact, some males are too, though I am even less comfortable when Raj tries to cling on like a koala,” he squirmed just thinking about it.

“I accept your concept that you did not initiate the closeness and did not entirely welcome it,” Amy admitted, “but you also made no particular attempt to free yourself or push Penny away as you might’ve done with, for example, Raj.”

“Well, first of all you can hardly compare the two!” Sheldon said snippily. “A grown man should not feel the need to grab onto to a fellow heterosexual male because The Doctor is about to be chased by a Dalek,” he explained. “Where as Penny is a woman, and if I’m not mistaken in the middle of particularly hormonal period of her cycle,” he said thoughtfully. “In any case, women are predisposed to over-emotional responses and it is only to be expected for her to seek comfort from the nearest alpha-male, i.e. myself”

Amy wasn’t sure how else to explain this in a way Sheldon would understand her. He was extremely intelligent in all things physics, and anything to do with comic books or superheroes. His knowledge was expansive, there was no doubt, but Sheldon Cooper was not well versed in the ways of the heart. He was clearly either unable or unwilling to accept the fact that shunning her advances, whilst allowing her own bestie to practically throw herself all over him was just not reasonable or fair.

“Okay, here is my final question on the subject, and then I think we should let it go for now,” she proposed, deciding it was hardly worthy of further discussion when she was getting next to nowhere. “Sheldon, are you attracted to Penny in any kind of physical way?”

He opened his mouth to answer that and closed it again fast, suddenly very unsure where to begin in answering.

“I think I first ought to seek clarification on your use of the word ‘attracted’,” he said eventually. “Are you speaking of physical attraction based on pheromones, hormones, and appreciation of certain body shapes?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m talking about,” confirmed Amy with a nod before any other rambling options were given to her.

“It is fair to say that Penny is far from displeasing to look at and a great many men or indeed women who possess such needs might call her a ‘hottie’,” he air-quoted, though it was clear he was displeased with himself for even using such a word. “Nevertheless, I would like to think I am beyond such base urges and would not do anything Penny asked just for a chance of coitus, in which you know I have no interest in the first place.”

Amy wished that explanation made her feel better, and yet, as she watched Sheldon walk away into the kitchen to fix them both a nice calming hot beverage, she had a feeling she had only made things worse if it were possible.

* * *

It was so loud and violent. There was no way out and their lives hung in the balance, that much she was sure of. It all came down to this and whether or not fate was on their side. They were strong, but this time the enemy just might be stronger. Another clang of body against metal made her shudder and shriek. It shouldn’t end this way.

“I didn’t plan on going out like this,” said Penny, with a shake in her voice as she ducked down low, terrified of what came next and wishing she and her beloved crew of family were anywhere but here.

“I never planned anything,” said Sheldon, suddenly beside her. “I spent so much time trying to find a home, I never realised I already had.”

Penny wasn’t sure how to take his words or the softness in his face as she looked up at him then. She had been wishing the world away and would have sworn she felt it fading as their eyes met. He never had admitted to feeling that comfortable with her, with any of them. She always felt like he was waiting for an excuse to get away, until this moment.

“Penny, my one true regret in all this is never being with you,” he told her seriously.

The blonde’s eyes were wide as saucers at the sound of those words.

“With me?” she echoed, struggling with the concept of what she thought he might really mean, “You mean to say... like, sex?” she checked, sure she must be wrong and yet, she could come up with no better explanation.

“I mean to say,” he said, nodding slowly, astonishing her all over again.

It is the noise of bodies clanging against the door rising once again in her ears that brings Penny back to her senses. Still, she could barely tear her eyes away from Sheldon’s own, stunned by his words and their true meaning.

“To hell with that,” she said after a moment, reaching an arm around his neck and pulling him close enough to crush her lips against his own. “I’m gonna live,” she said with determination when the kiss was finally over.

Cocking her gun, she aimed it towards the door, just as it blew off the hinges with an almighty crash...

“Oh my God!” Penny sat up with a jolt, eyes wide open, and breathing heavily.

She hadn’t had a dream so vivid in a very long time. This had been so real that her fingers went subconsciously to her lips as if she really had kissed someone a moment ago. Of course that someone was not just any random fantasy guy, it had been Dr. Sheldon Cooper. What had Penny so rattled was not that she had been living a scene from a movie in her dreams, or even that she had kissed the most unlikely member of her circle of friends in said dream. Her shock came from the fact that the mere thought of Sheldon’s declaration to her and that one powerful kiss was still sending the most delicious shiver through her body, and making her wish she was still asleep, seeing what happened next.

“What the gorram hell is wrong with me?”


	6. The Geek Girl Development

It wasn’t the first time she had been here, but Penny was sure she had never walked into this comic book store alone before. She certainly hadn’t come here planning to buy anything for herself, but then there was a first time for everything. That much was clear, she noted with a smile, since she had also never shared her love for Firefly with anyone until a couple of weeks ago. Similarly, she had never had an erotic dream about Sheldon Cooper before two days ago, but that was a whole other story!They hadn’t seen each other since, and Penny considered that to be a good thing. Mostly she had been working, and when she wasn’t at the Cheesecake Factory, she had kind of made a point of being busy with other things. The gym, the grocery store, anywhere was worth going if it didn’t mean being at the apartment. She needed to get her head straight before she faced Sheldon and made a fool of herself, or worse before she talked to Amy.

The girl who called her ‘bestie’ (for no apparent reason other than she was the only real girl friend she had ever had) text messaged to say she had talked to Sheldon and understood she hadn’t deliberately thrown herself at him. Penny wasn’t sure what to do with Amy’s assurance that she understood that any woman would cling to such a man as Dr Cooper in a time of crisis. Despite the fact she hadn’t really done anything, Penny felt forgiven, and yet no better about the strange thoughts of Sheldon that had since invaded her subconscious.

“Penny?”

Her name being spoken behind her pulled her out of a momentary daze, and brought her back with a bump to the comic book store she had just walked into.

“Wow, I... I didn’t expect to see you here... ever,” he admitted, jittering around like he really wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

Penny was happy to avoid what seemed like a hug, and a hand-shake, as Stuart’s arms seemed to be everywhere and then gone as he thought better of it.

“Not exactly a place I expected to be,” she admitted with a smile, “but y’know, I didn’t know where else to go to get what I wanted but your store so...” she shrugged.

“Here? The only place... um, you came to ask me for another date?” he asked nervously, but grinning like an idiot all the same.

Penny bit her lip, almost feeling bad for making him think he was her reason for being here. Sure, they went out that one time, but it was years ago and so not something she would ever do again. The fact was, Stuart was a nice guy, he just wasn’t her type. Apparently, if she did have a type on the geek end of the spectrum, she was more attracted to the whack-a-doodle physicist type, rather than the comic book store owning type. Go figure.

“Actually, I wanted to buy a comic book,” she admitted, feeling so very awkward. “Sheldon said that they made some of Firefly and Serenity?”

Stuart looked confused, albeit momentarily. He hadn’t really thought Penny would want another date with him, no woman ever had before. One date was a best case scenario, his whole life two had never happened, so there was no reason to think a hottie like Penny would ever consider him a likely candidate. What really had him baffled was the fact a woman like her not only liked a cancelled sci-fi western TV show enough to read the comic books that went along with, but on top of that, she was taking advice from Sheldon Cooper on such things!

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head free of the fog that settled when he realised he probably looked like a freak just staring at her that way. “I, um... Yeah, we have those comic books, right over here,” he gestured, and she followed him to a shelf across the store.

Penny had hoped that the moment they got there he would walk away and leave her be, but unfortunately it seemed Stuart was a little more persistent than that. The problem was not that he liked her and wanted to talk to her, after all, it was always flattering to have male attention. She couldn’t imagine a whole lot of women came into a store like this anyway, if the staring she was getting from Captain Sweatpants and Lonely Larry was anything to go by! The problem was that nerdy guys like these were hardly any better than Raj when it came to talking to girls, so they just stared and smiled until Penny started to wonder if they were going to need a defibrillator just to move again.

“So, Firefly, huh?” Stuart smiled too wide. “I loved that show,” he enthused.

“Really?” checked Penny as she picked up a couple of comic books and looked them over. “The other guys don’t really get it, its just me and Sheldon bonding over our Browncoat-ness,” she laughed to herself, before deciding she really wished she hadn’t used the word ‘bonding somehow.

“Oh yeah, Sheldon is a real fan,” said Stuart with a nod of agreement. “It was practically the coming of the apocalypse when I didn’t have ‘Those Left Behind’ like the first day it came out,” he said, pointing to one of the books in Penny’s hand.

“I believe that.” She smiled politely, backing up a step just to get the guy out of her personal space. “But this wasn’t the one I was looking for exactly...” she trailed off as she flipped through some more and came up with the book she had in mind. “Aha! This is it, Shepherd’s Tale,” she grinned wide. “Sheldon didn’t think I reacted right when Book died in the movie. Apparently if I read this I would totally feel differently about the guy, so here we are.”

“You take advice from Sheldon Cooper now? That’s... different,” said Stuart with a look of confusion as he picked the comic out of Penny’s hand and led her over to the cash register so she could pay for her selected item.

“Its not like he’s not smart enough to know better than me, and nobody knows sci-fi and all like he does,” she complimented the absent physicist without even thinking about it. “Anyway, I don’t exactly know any other fans... ‘cept you, apparently?” she tried, not really convinced.

There was every possibility that Stuart did know about Firefly, but just as much chance that he was saying he did to look cool and play up to her. Guys did that, she knew. Leonard had done the same thing when he supposedly lent her his own boxset that was in fact a gift for her bought at the store. Pretending to like something for somebody else’s sake seldom if ever worked out, this Penny knew from experience.

“Oh yeah, Firefly was awesome,” Stuart enthused as he took the blonde’s money and bagged up her comic for her. “The whole cowboys in space thing? Awesome!” He nodded again.

“Who was your favourite character?” asked Penny curiously, biting her lip so she didn’t smile when he immediately began to flounder.

“Um, well... anyone Nathan Fillion plays is cool, right?” he chuckled.

“Yeah.” Penny nodded along, waving goodbye with her purchase as she left the store.

Stuart put his face in his hands just as soon as she was gone, and then looked up when he had a thought. Rushing to the computer, he jumped straight to Opera and onto Amazon. One express delivery order of the Firefly boxset was on its way to him within seconds.

* * *

“Sheldon?” said Leonard as he appeared from his bedroom and found his room-mate at his computer, hammering away on the keys. “I, er... I think I owe you an apology,” he said awkwardly.

“Oh Lord!” his friend gasped as he spun around to face him. “Did you adjust the thermostat again?” he asked in panic.

“No,” Leonard confirmed with a shake of his head.

“Did you touch any of my dvds or comic books?” Sheldon asked next, which was also met with a negative answer. “Have you been speaking in derogatory terms about trains?”

“Sheldon, no, I didn’t do that either,” Leonard cut in fast. “And will you stop just guessing and let me explain this?” he asked, at which point his friend gave in at last.

“Very well,” he conceded, paying attention for a moment, his hands folded in his lap. “Please proceed.”

“Thank you!” Leonard practically yelled, all of a sudden wishing he’d never started this when it came to the crunch. “Okay, so... I have to apologise for Amy coming over here the way she did. I leant her my key, I wanted her to catch you and Penny together and... y’know?” He shrugged.

“No, Leonard, I’m sure I don’t know,” Sheldon confirmed. “I’m aware from what Amy Farrah-Fowler told me that you did indeed lend her your key to the apartment, though you will note that on this one occasion I did let it slide that you broke the room-mate agreement by doing so,” he told him with a glare. “I really don’t see to what your apology tends if not that, since Amy found myself and Penny only watching a movie in which she has no interest herself. What harm did you think you were doing exactly?”

Leonard could explain. He could tell Sheldon how he wanted Amy to think he and Penny were pretty much having an affair behind her back, since it seemed clear to everyone but Sheldon himself that he and Amy were dating. Of course, the guy had no concept of getting close to women, and would never see either Amy or Penny as anything but a member of his social circle. It was too difficult to get into without making matters worse, so he let it go, only willing to reiterate his apology for the sake of soothing his own conscious.

“I know you don’t get it, but I’m still sorry I did it,” he repeated, before getting up from his seat and walking out the front door, saying he’d be back in a few hours.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand that man,” said Sheldon with a shake of his head, before going back to what he’d been working on, wondering as he so often did at how the world still functioned with so many people like Leonard in it.

* * *

Sheldon was just on his way out of his apartment when he turned and found Penny on the stairs behind him. They hadn’t really seen each other at all since they watched Serenity and she childishly ran out on him the moment Amy showed up. Of course, Sheldon didn’t feel the need to bring any of that up right now, he just smiled politely and asked Penny how she was on this fine day.

“I’m good, thanks.” She smiled back. “How’re you? How’s things with Amy?” she asked awkwardly as she stood opposite him in the hallway now, hugging her comic book to her chest.

“I am in my normal state of being, thank you for asking.” He nodded once. “And things with Amy are much as they ever were, in that we are friends and she has highly irregular moods swings that continue to confuse and annoy me on occasion,” he sighed. “I really don’t know how any man can be expected to navigate life with so many women close at hand when they’re all having these terrible mood swings and hormonal outbursts,” he shook his head.

“Amy’s having outbursts now?” checked Penny. “What happened, exactly?”

Sheldon looked a little awkward but mostly borne out of the fact he was being asked questions about things that he already explained were confusing and annoying to him. Still, Penny was doubtless meaning to be helpful and kindly, and so he would do her the courtesy of responding politely.

“She does not seem to understand that I am friends with both you and her, and that it is entirely unlikely I will ever have any inclination of being closer to a woman than a purely platonic relationship,” he rattled out in the way that only Sheldon could.

Penny’s mouth opened and closed twice before any sound came out. Of course Sheldon wasn’t interested in girls that way. He was too smart and too out of whack with the rest of the known world to want to bother himself with a girlfriend or anything. Besides, with the way he was about germs, so much as a kiss would have him running to the bathroom for a scalding shower just to be sure he was uninfected by such a thing. It was weird then, knowing all this as Penny did, that it hurt a little, somewhere deep inside, to have him say it out loud to her.

“Um, I bought a comic book,” she said suddenly, deciding a change of subject was what was really needed here. “See? The one you told me to get,” she smiled brightly as she pulled ‘A Shepherd’s Tale’ from the paper bag to show him.

“Really, Penny. I didn’t tell you to buy it, I merely advised that it might be worth your while,” he corrected her. “However, I must say the fact you took my advice shows great progress in your listening skills.”

Penny wasn’t sure she liked the way he said it, but given that he was now walking away and the fact he rarely cared when she called him insulting, it really wasn’t worth even mentioning. She might have stayed mad except for the fact she could hear Sheldon as he disappeared down the stairs, humming the Firefly theme. It made her smile, not because she caught him doing something a ‘normal’ person would do but more so that he had chosen that particular tune. For Penny it was special, it was the connection the two of them had, and in some small way, it was as if he was singing it just for her. She frowned instantly when that thought passed through her head.

“I do not like Sheldon, I do not like Sheldon,” she intoned as she opened her apartment door and went inside, sure she shouldn’t have to try quite so hard not to have a crush on a guy like him.

Unfortunately, she forgot to continue her mantra when she randomly started singing to herself without even noticing;

“Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand...”


	7. The Love Hypothesis

It had been a discussion with Wolowitz and Koothrapali that tipped the scale. Whilst Leonard was out, they had come calling, to ask if their friends were up for a trip to the park with their fighting kites. Sheldon declined, not only because his fighting partner was absent, but also because he had far more important things to do right now.

“In any case,” he had told his friends, “Leonard is probably not in a kite fighting mood either” he explained. “His mood this morning was irregular to say the least. There’s a lot of that going on around here lately,” he considered, thinking of first Amy and then Penny.

He dismissed the thoughts as soon as they formed, shaking his head and going back to work on his computer. Windows updates were a drag but sometimes vital, so he was picking his way through deciding which were and were not useful based on his own criteria, rather than the advice of the system itself.

Howard then wanted an explanation as to what his friend was talking about and seemed deeply interested in the whole story. Raj was no less emotionally involved apparently, gasping and such in reaction to every little thing Sheldon said. The physicist honestly didn’t understand the shock and horror that seemed to have come out of a simple string of events, but he deferred to those who were a little more invested in social interactions than himself.

“Sheldon, I know we sometimes, y’know... call you a robot,” Howard said, less than tactfully, “but even you have to understood jealousy.”

“Of course I understand,” his friend had rolled his eyes, “but there was simply nothing for Amy to feel jealous about. She is not my girlfriend, and neither is Penny. That is as ridiculous as assuming that you might be jealous if I chose to spend some time with Raj in your absence. You are both my friends, would it change anything if the two of us watched a movie without you?” he asked earnestly.

“Well, no,” Howard conceded, “but Raj isn’t a foxy young woman who put her head in your lap!” he argued.

Sheldon had sighed heavily, feeling exasperated by the whole situation. His friends didn’t seem to understand him at all, which wasn’t news but it was no less annoying than it ever had been before. Of course, the real problem began when the theory of Amy being jealous turned into a theory regarding her need to be so. Before long, Howard had been up by the whiteboard (Leonard’s not Sheldon’s since the latter would now allow such a thing) and began making a list of reasons why he proposed Sheldon cared for Penny more than for Amy.

The man with the higher IQ made a good case against each of the reasons, ranging from his having known Penny longer to his need to be in a friendlier relationship with a woman that not only lived in such close proximity but also prepared his food at least once a week. There were a lot of knowing looks being passed between Raj and Howard that Sheldon did not appreciate in the least and he was quite glad when they eventually left him alone.

Unfortunately, even after they were gone, the board with the list on it kept getting his attention. Usually Sheldon had pretty good focus. You didn’t get to be as smart as he was without at least making some efforts to concentrate on the important things in life, and a whiteboard containing reasons why he might pursue a romantic relationship with the blonde across the hall barely qualified as even amusing. Still, somehow it kept swaying him away from his computer, and before long he was up from his desk facing said board, reading the reasons over again that Howard had scrawled up there.

Of course, he had arguments for each and every thing he read, making them simply about friendship rather than anything romantic or sexual. Perish the thought that Penny would ever think he had those kind of feelings for her. Unfortunately, even Sheldon would admit, if only to himself, that all his counterpoints were a little flimsy and his arguments entirely too thin for comfort.

It didn’t make any sense. He was Dr. Sheldon Cooper and as such rarely needed anyone but himself. Friends were nice to have, someone to talk to and share things with, but he could cope just as well alone. He certainly never had any desire to keep a woman close at hand, not like the rest of his peer group. Howard was quite happy to chase anyone of the female persuasion until he finally settled on Bernadette, and Raj was still on some kind of pointless and largely silent crusade to engage in coitus with any willing woman. Leonard had slightly more discerning tastes perhaps, but his ultimate goal was the same as the others. Sheldon never shared such wants and desires. His work was his life, and what little time was not spent dedicated to physics was for quality television, comic books, and such.

Amy Farrah-Fowler was the first woman he had gotten anything like close to, at least he had always said so. Now that he thought about it, and re-read Howard and Raj’s list over and over, he couldn’t help but think he was actually much closer to Penny before Amy ever came along. The blonde had been present on his first ever date. She was the one who got him Leonard Nimoy’s DNA, and the first woman outside his family that he had both bought a Christmas gift for and had willingly hugged. In fact she was the first and only woman he had seen naked.

When Penny broke up with Leonard, he hadn’t been sad for his room-mate’s loss, he had worried that she would be lost from his life. That could be easily put down to his OCD type tendencies and an abject need to keep everything in his life to rules and schedules, but now Sheldon was starting to suspect it all ran deeper than that.

Before long, he was stood in front of his own whiteboard, a paper towel in his hand to clean off old theories and calculations that were no longer relevant. Moments later, his marker moved swiftly across the surface, a dozen algebraic formulae he would use to figure out that which his brain could not make sense of in this moment. He would crunch the numbers, work out the kinks in the logic. There had to be a scientific or mathematical way to explain what was happening to him, to make him wonder on his feelings for Penny. There was a logical explanation for everything and he would find this one just like he had found so many others before. There was no other option.

* * *

Leonard wasn’t really sure what he was doing here. He knew he had come over to Amy’s apartment to apologise to her, but he wondered if he would get any further with her than with Sheldon. He did a bad thing and he knew it, even if his room-mate seemed completely oblivious. Leonard knew sending Amy over to the apartment was wrong. He knew she would find Penny and Sheldon on the couch together watching Serenity, possibly closer than friends ought to be. He had realised what his room-mate failed to see, that he made allowances for Penny that no-one else was allowed, especially lately when they started bonding over Firefly.

It seemed funny at the time, to think of Amy catching Penny and Sheldon in what she might mistake for a compromising position, or at the very least a kind of date scenario. She would get mad, and Sheldon would flounder, not understanding what was wrong. It was all Leonard had focused on in the beginning, getting back at his friends for being mean to him before. He hadn’t thought about Amy, about how it might hurt her to think her ‘boyfriend’ was cheating on her in some way. That made Leonard a bad person and he could not forgive himself until he made all his apologies and was forgiven by those he hurt. Chief among those people was Amy Farrah-Fowler.

Knocking on her apartment door, it seemed to take an age before anyone answered, and even then the door did not open.

“Who’s there?” she called, as if Leonard had started a joke with his knock rather than had meant to be let in to talk.

“It’s Leonard!” he called back.

“Leonard, who?” Amy replied, and just when he was trying to figure out whether he was supposed to actually give his name of come up with a punch-line, the door swung open.

Amy leaned heavily in the space, giggling and guffawing like a child who just learnt her first joke. When it came to someone like Amy, Leonard genuinely wondered if that was the case, but soon changed his mind when he took a step closer and got a whiff of her breath.

“Hey, Amy,” he said carefully. “Um, I’m sorry, is now a bad time?” he checked. “’Cause I can go...” he gestured off down the hallway but the neurobiologist shook her head.

“No, I’m fine, it’s all fine,” she assured him, moving to open the door wider and usher him inside.

She misjudged where her own feet were, swinging out wildly with the door that followed her and almost knocking herself on the butt. Leonard hurried to grab her before she went over completely, and then regretted it when she looked up at him with some kind of hero worship in her eyes.

“You’re freakishly agile and strong for a sight-impaired, vertically-challenged man,” she noted, still swaying some in his grasp.

“Um, okay,” said Leonard warily. “Thanks... I think,” he added, feeling a little baffled by this whole situation.

The last thing he expected when he came over was to find Amy drunk and a little out of control. She seemed like the female equivalent of Sheldon in so many ways, though he knew lately she was showing evidence of human emotion that his room-mate would never see fit to stoop to. Amy was a woman with feelings after all and it was likely those feelings were hurt because of something Leonard did. That was why he was here, of course, to apologise for his part in all this. He wondered if she was in any fit state to hear whatever he came to say, but Leonard was still willing to give it a shot.

“So, I did have a reason for coming here,” he told her, taking his hands off her arms when he was pretty sure she was stable at last. “I, er... well, when I leant you the key to my apartment, I kind of knew that you’d find Sheldon and Penny together,” he admitted. “I knew they might be close, I mean, Penny gets emotional with movies and...”

“Leonard,” Amy interrupted him suddenly, leaning all her weight on the back of the couch. “Whilst I’m sure the effects of alcohol on the body can be many and numerous,” she told him, shockingly articulate for one so evidently drunk. “Please could you assure me that the buzzing sound I’m experiencing is not in my head alone,” she urged him, putting her hand towards her temple then.

“Huh? Oh, right!” said Leonard as he realised the buzzing was coming from his cell phone.

He had been so caught up in his speech to Amy he honestly hadn’t noticed it until she pointed it out. Now he scrabbled to find the phone and wasn’t sure what to do when he realised who was calling.

“It’s Sheldon,” he told Amy, who sighed heavily, rounding the couch on wobbly legs and flopping down into the cushions. “He won’t give up until I answer so...” Leonard tailed off as he accepted the call, stepping away into the kitchen area to have his conversation.

“Leonard, I’m distressed,” came the surprisingly shaky voice of his room-mate on the other end of the line. “I’m afraid my ability to calculate basic math problems is lost to me, and I was wondering if you could advise me. What do you do when your brain fails you in a crisis?”

Leonard bit back any bile in his throat and tried to concentrate on getting past the insults into the facts. He ought to be used to Sheldon’s ways by now, after all these years. Still, every so often he caught him unawares with another probably unintentional but none the less painful barb.

“What math problem can’t you solve, Sheldon?” he asked, glancing back at Amy and finding it just a little worrying that she once again had a glass in her hand.

“Well, I am trying to work out a formula that will explain what’s happening between myself and Penny,” his friend explained. “There has to be a scientific explanation for this inexplicable attraction that exists between us, and just so you are aware, I’m speaking in terms of us being drawn into one another’s company and by no means anything sexual,” he clarified.

“Perish the thought,” Leonard muttered. “Sheldon, you tried to come up with a friendship algorithm before, how is this different?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Sure, Sheldon came off like a Vulcan or a robot sometimes, certainly not human with usual feelings and emotions, but Leonard was one of the few people who knew better. He understood that his friend did care for certain things and certain people. He certainly did seem to care more for Penny than any of them ever could have guessed.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you, Leonard, and this is the problem,” Sheldon repeated. “I cannot quantify my own behaviour since Penny and myself have been spending more time together watching Firefly,” he went on. “Amy Farrah-Fowler seems to think that the fact I am willing to allow physical contact between myself and Penny, but shy away from such closeness with her, proves that I must be attracted to our neighbour. You know I would normally cast such ridiculous theories aside with a look of derision and a shake of my head, but Wolowitz and Koothrapali are inclined to agree with her, and now they have me questioning myself” he said worriedly. “What is wrong with me, Leonard?”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” his friend yelled a little too loudly, making Amy jump in her seat. “Sorry,” he whispered, before turning his attention back to Sheldon. “Did you ever think that maybe you might be... I don’t know why I’m even saying this but... in love?”

“With Firefly?” Sheldon checked. “If one can truly be in love with a television show then yes, I find it highly likely,” he confirmed.

“With Penny, Sheldon!” his friend told him, completely exasperated by how impossible he was with this kind of thing. “Did you ever think that maybe you love her?” he tried again. “I mean, speaking from experience, it’s pretty easy to do.”

“Really, Leonard,” his friend sighed. “I hardly think so. Surely, I would know if I were falling prey to something as superficial and unscientific as love...” he tailed off a moment, clearly thinking about it before adding; “Wouldn’t I?”

“Sisters are doing it for themselves!” Amy started to sing in the background, though thankfully Sheldon either couldn’t hear her or was too busy with his own thoughts to care.

“Sheldon, I really can’t talk about this right now,” said Leonard, covering the ear that wasn’t to his cell to block Amy out some. “I’ll help you figure things out when I get home, okay?”

A moment later, Leonard hung up the phone and sighed a heavy sigh. This whole situation was getting kind of ridiculous, and was set to get no better, he realised, as he turned around and realised Amy was now up off the couch and right beside him. He physically jumped at her closeness and leaned away as she leaned in, breathing booze in his face.

“Do you know how many men have kissed me, Leonard?” she asked him, wavering a little as she did so. “I mean, really kissed me, on the lips, like they mean it.”

“I wouldn’t have a clue,” he answered honestly, though mentally he figured it couldn’t be a huge number.

“I’ll tell you,” she said, nodding once, before holding up the correct number of fingers. “Two, only two, and neither of them were Dr. Sheldon Cooper.”

Leonard wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that, though he fast realised he wasn’t necessarily supposed to be talking so much as listening.

“I’m afraid I made a mistake with him.” Amy sighed. “I thought being as we were so similar, we could just get along as friends, but then feelings developed and I found myself actually aching for physical human contact,” she explained. “Before I knew it I had quite convinced myself that something so strong as love might exist between myself and Sheldon, but I was wrong.”

“He does care about you, Amy,” Leonard assured her, leading her back to the couch, rather afraid that if she didn’t soon sit down she just might fall down.

“You misunderstand me,” she shook her head, replacing her glass on the table now that it was empty. “Wow, three glasses really is my limit,” she muttered, making Leonard wonder at her apparent intolerance for alcohol. “In any case, my problem does not stem from Sheldon’s apparent attraction to Penny. I thought it did myself, but I have since come to realise that Penny only succeeded in making me realise that it is not so much Sheldon that I’m craving as her ability to turn men to putty in her well-manicured hands,” she sighed.

“I’m sure you could get any guy you wanted just as easily, Amy,” her friend told her kindly, if not truthfully. “You’re... smart,” he opted for, “and funny sometimes. I mean, we had a good time on our one date, right?” He smiled genuinely.

“Yes.” She nodded in response. “An evening in your company was more than pleasant,” she recalled that night at the wedding where they attended as a pair. “Of course, that evening could hardly be classified as a date by the standards of the general populous,” she said thoughtfully, “in that it did not end with the traditional goodnight kiss... on the lips,” she clarified.

Leonard wasn’t sure how to take the look on Amy’s face when he glanced her way then. He didn’t really get much chance to think about it either as suddenly she was there in his arms with her lips on his, making up for that kiss they never shared before, and then some!


	8. The Intimacy Trials

Sat at either end of the couch, faced by a cup of coffee each on the table, neither Leonard or Amy really knew what to say right now. When she started talking about kissing, Leonard genuinely had not considered that she was about to practice such an activity on himself, until suddenly she had flung herself on top of him. It was a sloppy, awkward moment, and when it was over neither of them were keen to repeat it. In fact, Amy was up from her seat like a shot, rushing to the bathroom to vomit quite spectacularly.

Leonard had considered leaving then, but it seemed wrong when Amy was clearly not feeling well. Sure, it was less illness and more self-inflicted, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t try to be a good friend. He busied himself in the kitchen whilst she was gone, clinking mugs and clattering things around to hide the sound of Amy’s puking up her guts. By the time she emerged, looking even paler than usual, and wobbling more so than when she had been falling down drunk, Leonard had two mugs of coffee on the table and was waiting for her return.

Now here they sat, ten minutes later, still not having spoken a word, just alternately sipping their coffee and feeling awkward as anything.

“Leonard,” said Amy at length, though she barely looked at him. “I would like to assure you that my vomiting was no reflection on you or the kiss we shared,” she told him. “Though our clinch could hardly be called successful, I do not find you unappealing to the point of nausea.”

“Thank you,” he answered stiffly, pretty sure she meant to be kind but struggling to find the compliment somehow. “Um, maybe I should leave,” he offered then, standing up.

Amy followed suit and swiftly wished she hadn’t. She dropped back down on the couch too quickly, feeling strange.

“Goodness!” she commented as she put her hand to her head. “I really must go back to abstaining from alcohol,” she noted. “It does not agree with me on any level.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” said Leonard kindly, “but if you want me to stay a while...” he offered, feeling that maybe it wouldn’t be right to leave her if she was worried about her own health.

Sure, it was probably just the after-effects of being drunk, but she looked kind of shaken about it.

“Please, only stay if I’m not keeping you from something more important,” she told him, at which Leonard smiled.

“What’s more important than a friend in need?” he asked kindly, reaching out to pat her on the arm.

“I should warn you, Leonard, that I sometimes misread signals and signs shared between people of opposing genders,” she told him. “So long as we’re clear on where we stand, you and I are friends, and have no interest in each other in any other way?”

“Sure, we’re friends,” he agreed, not really certain on whether she was looking for him to offer her more than that or not.

He liked Amy, she was cool, and not so much like Sheldon as to drive him nuts. She had a human side, way more than his room-mate had, though he seemed to be developing one where Penny was concerned. It seemed a shame that Sheldon couldn’t make it work with Amy, but then perhaps she was right, perhaps they were just too alike, whereas Sheldon and Penny were the opposites that attracted, way more opposite than she and Leonard himself had even been.

“So, you’re okay with Penny and Sheldon getting closer?” he checked.

“I believe I am.” Amy nodded carefully, mindful of her spinning head. “It seems likely that it will distress me to see them together for a while. I had imaginings of myself and Sheldon being closer and to see Penny take that place in many a fantasy will probably knock my female pride,” she noted, “but nevertheless I shall find a way to be happy for both my respected friend and my bestie,” she smiled.

“You’re a heck of a woman, Amy Farrah-Fowler,” Leonard told her with a genuine smile, not really meaning to say such a thing out loud and surprising himself with the fact that he had apparently.

The way she smiled then was so completely girlish and sweet. Leonard hadn’t had much occasion to think about Amy as a woman or as someone he might date. She was not an obvious beauty like Penny had always been, and she acted much like one of the guys when they hung out together. Besides, much like everyone else, up until recently, Leonard had paired Amy off with Sheldon in his head. They had shared one date themselves, of course, to a wedding, and he had genuinely had fun that night. Right now was cool too, now that she wasn’t so drunk and they were just talking and all.

“That was very kind of you to say, Leonard,” Amy said then, breaking his train of thought and snapping him out of a daze he barely realised he’d fallen into. “I must confess, I have always thought of you as ‘a heck of a man’ also.” She smiled, using his own phrasing back at him. “Perhaps all those months ago it might have been more agreeable for everyone if you and I had been the ones to meet via the Internet for a blind date.”

Leonard wasn’t sure how to answer that one, and so stood up fast, grabbing both empty mugs from the table.

“I’ll make more coffee,” he mumbled as he darted away.

Amy noted with a smile that whilst he seemed to be uncomfortable and ran from her, it was only as far as the kitchen and not out of the door. Interesting.

* * *

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

There was a pause in which Sheldon waited, not so patiently for the door to be opened, before he started up again with his knocking.

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!”

“Sheldon, what is wrong with you?” she asked as she opened the door to find him hopping around like a bug on a hot-plate.

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Penny!” he completed, pointlessly rapping on the now open door.

As she stared at him waiting for him to speak, Penny started to worry. He seemed to be so desperate to talk to her and yet now she was here in front of him, well, the phrase ‘deer in the headlights’ came to mind. Something was clearly wrong. Sheldon was usually pretty calm, unless he’d been drinking a lot of coffee, and yet right now he was jittery and awkward, like when he was forced to apologise for something. Penny wasn’t the best at reading people, and Sheldon was never the easiest person to read so it seemed easier just to ask him what was wrong... again.

“Seriously, Sheldon, what is up?” she tried, putting her hands to her hips, a little awkwardly since she still had her comic book in her hands.

“A Shepherd’s Tale,” he noted on having his attention drawn to it, however unintentionally. “You’re reading it.”

“Yeah,” Penny nodded as she held up the comic book in question. “I can read, y’know?” she teased him, the smile fading off her face when he laughed that forced laugh he used sometimes.

Something was really not right here at all.

“Okay, you should come inside,” she said, ushering him in, mindful not to make contact given the state he was already in.

There were times he was okay with touching and other times when you didn’t dare try. Right now was one of the latter, and even Penny knew that. She closed the apartment door behind her and watched as Sheldon paced some, unsure whether to sit or not apparently, despite the fact he had long since selected a spot in her apartment on the right side of the couch.

“Sweetie, you really need to tell me what’s going on.” Penny sighed as she put her comic book down carefully on the table, mindful of making Sheldon worse by casually tossing aside something he loved. “Is it Amy?”

“No,” he replied swiftly, as he turned to face her so suddenly that Penny backed up a step in surprise. “Or rather, yes, it does concern Amy Farrah-Fowler, in a way,” he admitted, but went no further with his explanation.

This was ridiculous and he knew it. Sheldon Cooper was a respected man of science, as well as being well-disciplined and sensible in all things. Right now, he felt he had been reduced to the level of someone governed by such ridiculous things as feelings and base instincts. It would not do at all, and yet Sheldon was struggling to untangle this mess in his own head, never mind out loud in actual words. With a mind as advanced as his own was, it was quite the unusual predicament and most unsettling for Sheldon.

“Amy Farrah-Fowler put forward a theory,” he said at last, just moments before Penny tried for the third time to ask him what was wrong.

“Okay,” she replied, sitting down on the couch and hoping he would take the hint and follow it - she should have known better.

“She seems to be under the illusion that my issues with intimacy are not as all-inclusive as I had always claimed,” Sheldon went on, pacing all of two steps to the left and right and back, and making random hand gestures as he went on. “I was sure I never misinformed anyone about my state of being, since I had conducted more than one experiment in the area. I have never craved the company of any particular female, at least not in the sense of anything romantic nor sexual in nature,” he went on.

“I know.” Penny nodded, a sad smile gracing her lips.

It wasn’t that she was really all that disappointed that Sheldon would never want her as a girlfriend, moreover that he would never have anyone special in his life that way. At least she was only willing to admit the latter rather than the former to herself.

“It came to pass, when Amy and myself were talking, that she informed me it was unusual for a person with such an aversion to any kind of physical contact to end up, and these are her words,” he clarified, “with a woman’s head in my lap.”

Penny wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say to that. Clearly, Sheldon had only just now come to realise how close they had been sitting the other day when watching the movie. For someone usually so very aware of the world, it seemed strange that it took him this long. Still, that was not the point right now.

“I’m sorry, Sheldon, if I made you uncomfortable during the movie,” she apologised sincerely, a little stunned when he answered her.

“But you didn’t,” he insisted, “and therein lies my dilemma,” he explained, waving his arms around like a crazy windmill. “It was only when I relayed our circumstance to Koothrapali and Wolowitz that I realised something was amidst,” he admitted. “I have spent long hours since then working on a formula or some kind of mathematical or scientific reasoning behind what appears to be a most erroneous connection between us,” he shook his head, “and it appears that my own mind cannot comprehend, well... me!”

“Oh, sweetie,” said Penny with evident compassion. “Come on, calm down,” she urged him, as he was only serving to work himself up into a worse state right now.

Reaching for his hands, she pulled him down to sit beside her, only to have him snatch his fingers from her grasp in a second. She immediately apologised as he leaned away from her like a petrified virgin. Of course, it was only now that she thought about it, she realised what an accurate description that probably was.

“Sheldon,” she sighed. “Look, I’m sorry if your being comfortable around me confuses you or freaks you out or whatever,” she shook her head, “but you really don’t have to worry about it,” she promised. “We’re good friends is all, and I promise I’m not about to jump your bones just because we got a little closer and you didn’t freak about it,” she smiled kindly. “We hugged before and it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Those hugs were of limited duration,” he reminded her, “and for a specific purpose. Besides which, they are not the only symptoms I have to make me wonder about... about my ability to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex.”

“Okay, when you say member of the opposite sex...?” she began, only to have him cut in before she could finish her question properly.

“Women, Penny!” he snapped at her. “I am a man, and you are a woman!”

“Woah, don’t need the sex ed talk,” she told him, hands held high in mock surrender. “Especially not from you,” she clarified. “My question actually was, are you trying to tell me that of all the women in the world, the only one you’ve ever felt attracted to... was me?” she checked, unable to help the soppy smile that came to her lips then.

“Yes, exactly.” Sheldon nodded, a little impressed that Penny was keeping up with what he was saying.

He was all too aware that he was not his usual succinct self right now and may in fact be rambling a little like a crazy person. Still, he figured Penny probably had plenty of experience with that, given some of the men she had dated in the past, including Leonard who was prone to such outbursts himself.

“Leonard actually went so far as to actually suggest that... that I might love you in some kind of romantic way,” Sheldon admitted then, one thought of his room-mate leading straight to another.

Penny was officially floored by that statement. As if it weren’t both shocking and flattering enough to hear that Sheldon, robotic whack-a-doodle Sheldon, might find her in some way attractive, now he was talking about loving her. This couldn’t be right, he had to be drunk or finally have tipped over the edge into full on crazy, so she thought, but then he did look perfectly serious and crazed enough for this to be true.

“I’m really not sure what you want me to say here,” she admitted openly. “I mean, you know I care about you, sweetie, I really do, and its not like the idea of being close to you is exactly repulsive,” she said, trying not to remember that one erotic dream she had and finding impossible somehow. “But, I don’t...”

“Kiss me.”

The words were out of Sheldon’s mouth and he could hardly believe it himself, but there they were, hanging in the space of the room between the two good friends as if they meant to attack.

“I’m sorry?” she asked, her eyes wider than saucers, sure she could not have heard correctly.

“No, I’m sorry.” Sheldon shook his head. “I phrased that badly and impolitely,” he noted with some frustration. “Penny,” he started over, “please would you assist me in performing an experiment by kissing me as you might one of the many men you have dated in the past four years and six months,” he quickly calculated.

Poor Penny didn’t know what to think or to say, for about the fifth time since this conversation had begun. Up until a week ago, she could honestly say she never thought about kissing Sheldon. Her crazy Serenity-based dream put paid to that, and since then such thoughts had popped into her mind all too often. Now here he was, the practically girl-allergic Dr. Sheldon Cooper, asking her to lay one on him!

“Um, sweetie, are you really sure you want me to... um, because you don’t usually just ask somebody something like that,” she tried to tell him as gently as possible.

This was the most bizarre situation she had ever been in, and that was really saying something!

“Really, Penny, I’m not asking for your hand in marriage,” Sheldon huffed at her. “Or even for you to consent to coitus, which still does not seem to appeal to me,” he confirmed. “I only wish to test a theory. As you probably know, Amy Farrah-Fowler chose to kiss me during a drunken stupor, and whilst it was not the most unpleasant moment of my life, it was hardly thrilling.”

“And you think, what?” asked Penny with a frown. “That me kissing you will feel better?” she checked to make sure she was understanding what seemed like a bizarre theory.

Sheldon sighed heavily, seemingly much less jittery now. Clearly, Penny infuriating him was strangely good for his nerves.

“Really, would I be asking you if I thought it would be a worse experience?” he almost scolded her for being so apparently tiresome. “Would anyone?”

“Okay, now I’m just gonna kiss you so you stop talking,” said Penny, bouncing over the middle couch cushion to get closer.

Sheldon flinched the moment she was near enough to touch him. He wasn’t so sure this was a good idea, but it was in the name of science, he told himself. It was just an experiment and once it was over he was bound to find the theory put forward by his peers of lower IQ was complete hokum.

Penny felt a little strange, especially since Sheldon was staring at her like a frightened bunny rabbit. She expected to kiss him, feel nothing, and be able to move on from this odd little crush that wouldn’t die. Plus, Sheldon would stop being afraid of whatever feelings he thought he might have for her and they could go back to being friends that were connected only by their love of Firefly and the dislike of some of Leonard’s worst habits.

“Close your eyes,” she advised, and Sheldon gave way to her greater knowledge in this one topic, letting his eyelids fall.

‘Well, here goes nothing,’ Penny thought to herself as she gently put a hand to his cheek, and guided Sheldon’s head closer until their lips finally met.


	9. The Couple Recombination

Leonard couldn’t get the grin off his face as he practically skipped up the stairs to his apartment. He had really enjoyed last night, and had been somewhat surprised that so much time spent with Amy Farrah-Fowler could make him feel so good. She wasn’t really what he thought in a lot of ways, though they hadn’t had much of a chance to chat alone before. Sure, they had their one date to the wedding, but that was all. Most of the time when they were in each others company, the whole gang were there, including Sheldon whom Leonard had always thought was supposed to be Amy’s boyfriend, though his friend always denied it.

Outside his own apartment door, Leonard paused. The grin that had been on his face since he left Amy’s place now started to fade. Sheldon was practically Amy’s boyfriend, and yet, he seemed in a real state over Penny lately. Leonard hadn’t been entirely serious when he tried to tell his room-mate that he might be in love with their beautiful neighbour. The concept of Sheldon being in love with anyone seemed absurd, and yet the more Leonard thought about the physicist and the waitress together, the more he started to wonder if he was so far off the mark.

They made exceptions for each other, big exceptions that really did not apply to anyone else. He accepted hugs from her. She let him get away with saying some awful things to her. She didn’t seem to lose it, no matter what he did to annoy her, and the reverse was also true somehow. Leonard looked from his own door to Penny’s and back. It was a crazy thought that she and Sheldon could make a couple, but then Leonard had never considered himself and Amy getting closer either.

It wasn’t as if anything had really happened between them. Sure, she made her move and kissed him, but Amy had been drunk then and once she was sober, she didn’t try it again. They just hung out and talked after that, discussing everything from scientific theories to favourite movies. Leonard struggled to find a topic they hadn’t covered, and yet the idea of seeing Amy again made the smile return to his face in an instant.

Deciding it shouldn’t matter to Sheldon what happened last night anyway, Leonard strolled into the apartment then, still grinning. His friend barely reacted. He was by his white-board, making fast calculations and then staring at those numbers and symbols for a long moment. Leonard opened his mouth to speak but stopped short of doing so as Sheldon picked up a cloth and wiped the area clean before starting over again.

“Hey,” said Leonard then, getting his friends attention. “Working on something important?” he asked curiously as he tossed his keys into the bowl.

“Would I be working on it at all if it were unimportant?” asked Sheldon with a frown, barely glancing back over his shoulder before he returned to his writing, staring, and erasing.

No matter which way he tilted his head, Leonard could not figure out what his friend was trying to figure out. He eventually decided it was not worth asking about it. What bothered him much more than whatever theory this was supposed to be, was how intently Sheldon was staring at it, and how tired he looked as a result of it.

“Have you slept, like, at all?” he checked.

“Not recently,” his friend confirmed, again barely looking his way, “Why?”

“You do realise its eight in the morning, right?” he asked him, not at all surprised to see Sheldon’s eyes dart to his watch and then the window through which light was streaming once again.

Sheldon was a little taken aback by the realisation that he had been stood here all night trying to figure this out. The problem was Penny, as it had been for days now. Having struggled so long with how and why he might be attracted to her, he had gone across the hall and convinced his favourite blonde to help him perform an experiment. She had kissed him as he asked, and Sheldon had been almost certain he would feel nothing good, only disgust and panic. That would put an end to these odd feelings he was having that made no sense to him, and he and Penny could go back to normal. In actuality, things had turned out far differently than he thought.

“You went to see Amy,” he said as his eyes focused on Leonard then and his brain caught up with reality. “You were gone all night,” he stated, no question asked, though there seemed to be one hidden beneath his words.

Leonard wondered if it was his own guilt complex making him think that. Sheldon would ask a question if he had one, he didn’t believe in playing games or hiding behind hyperbole. Still, he kind of felt that he owed the guy an explanation when it came to Amy.

“Yeah, about Amy...” he began, pushing his glasses up his nose in some kind of nervous gesture. “She, um...”

“Is she still being unreasonably irate about my watching Firefly with Penny?” asked Sheldon when Leonard seemed to flounder.

“No,” his friend replied easily. “No, actually, she seems pretty okay with the idea of you and Penny being, y’know, close friends,” he tried.

Sheldon nodded along with that.

“Well, I am pleased not to hurt Amy Farrah-Fowler’s feelings,” he conceded. “Whilst I have made it abundantly clear from the very first date that we were never to be more than friends, I do feel she got somewhat attached to me. I’d rather her not suffer because I cannot be the boyfriend she was hoping for, or her boyfriend at all in fact.”

“Don’t worry about it, Sheldon,” Leonard said reassuringly, patting him on the shoulder. “I think she’s over you” he confirmed, as he turned to walk away towards his bedroom.

“Leonard, I need to ask you two questions,” Sheldon called behind him.

“So close,” his friend muttered as he looked back. “Okay, what are the questions?”

“Well, the first, you are welcome to decline answering, though I would appreciate it if you did not,” he explained, tapping his board pen against his hand. “Did you engage in coitus with Amy Farrah-Fowler last night?”

“No, Sheldon!” Leonard practically exploded. “And it wouldn’t be any of your business if I had!” he said crossly.

“Very well,” Sheldon nodded once before continuing. “My other question concerns Penny. I understand from what I know of the friendships of males, mostly of which I have gleaned from Wolowitz’s less than expert teachings,” he explained, “that it is customary for a friend or room-mate to ask permission or seek some kind of blessing before engaging in any kind of relationship with their previous partner,” he rattled out.

Leonard blinked hard a couple of times. It was really too early in the morning, after a night of no sleep, for Cooper-speak.

“Sheldon,” he sighed after a while, rubbing his aching forehead with his hand. “Is this about you and Penny again?” he checked.

“I’m afraid so,” his friend sighed, sitting down in his spot with a thud, “I thought I was beyond all this, Leonard. I really thought I was too smart to be driven by base urges and attractions, the like of which people such as yourself fall foul of all too regularly.” He shook his head sadly. “But I have succumbed to this disease, to these awful emotions!”

He looked like he might cry or something, and Leonard actually felt sorry for his friend, despite the insult he had managed to work into his explanation. It must be hard on Sheldon. He understood so much, he was so incredibly smart, but he knew next to nothing about relationships and feelings. They went all these longs years, him and the guys, assuming the one amongst them with the highest IQ was some kind of asexual robot. Maybe they ought to have noticed sooner that he was so different with Penny. Maybe he was just waiting for her all long.

It ought to hurt, to think of his friend and his ex making a pair, but Leonard didn’t mind so much. Any other guy moving in on Penny, any muscle-bound dumb-ass that was unworthy of her, and Leonard wouldn’t have been able to stand it. At least with Sheldon, he knew he could trust that his ex-girlfriend and current friend would be treated well. His room-mate was respectful and kind when he wanted to be, certainly not likely to cause Penny any pain to speak of, or break her heart by cheating or anything.

“Look, Sheldon,” he said as he came to sit down beside him. “I know it all seems weird, but I guess... well, even you had to fall in love sometime, and I’m not exactly shocked that it was Penny that got to you,” he smiled. “She’s pretty amazing that way”

“Agreed,” Sheldon replied without even thinking, making Leonard grin all the more.

He wasn’t surprised that his friend didn’t even notice when he got up and walked away to his room. Last night with Amy had been fun, but right now he seriously needed some sleep. He advised Sheldon to do the same as he went, though it wasn’t clear if his friend heard him.

The truth was he was still really struggling. It was comfort to know that Amy would not be hurt by his spending more time with Penny than with her, and that Leonard seemed to have given his blessing to the would-be couple. What bothered Sheldon most was that he was running out of reasons not to ask his neighbour out on a date, apart from the obvious - he had never done it before. He wasn’t that person, he had so much in his life that seemed so much more important than seeking a female to build a future with. He had always assumed he would go through life alone, perhaps with a cat when he was old and lonely. Now everything was turned on its head since Penny got closer to him, since she kissed him as he asked her to, and made him wonder why he had waited so long to try such an activity.

Sheldon curled up in his spot on the couch, and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Penny couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t been up all night, but she had woken up at least once every hour until she got bored of trying to rest. She got up and padded from her bedroom to the living room, hoping some TV would clear her head. She kept on dreaming about Sheldon when she did sleep, and when she woke she just thought about him some more.

It was crazy, what had happened between them. She really never expected it at all when they started hanging out more to watch Firefly. They had always been friends, maybe better friends than she was with anyone else in their little geeky group. That wasn’t difficult since Raj never spoke unless he was drinking, Howard only ever said disgustingly sexual things (at least until he got with Bernadette), and Leonard, well, Penny always knew Leonard had a thing for her. Maybe he loved her on some level, and she had kind of thought she loved him too, but they never could make it work, so maybe they were better off as friends.

Then there was Sheldon, who Penny had never once considered in a sexual or romantic way until very recently. Now she was realising just how close they really were, how much time she had spent with him over the years, how they always seemed to turn to each other with their problems. He helped her set up her own business one time, he came to the bar for advice with Amy. He taught her Age of Conan when she needed something to focus on, and some physics when she wanted to look smart. She helped him out with the world of social etiquette, and cared for him when he was sick. The list of ways they were always there for each other just kept spinning on and on through her mind, and then there was that kiss.

Poor Sheldon, Penny ought to have known his first reaction would be to run when she laid her lips on him, but that was what he asked for. He was pretty freaked out, but then she doubted he ever kissed a girl before. It didn’t feel like he had a clue what to do, but it wasn’t a bad kiss. He tried to follow her lead for a little while, and it actually made Penny feel pretty good, until he up and bolted.

The smile that came to her lips at the memory of the kiss, gave way to a frown when she recalled the running part. Now she had this horrible feeling that everything was ruined. She and Sheldon as a couple seemed crazy on the surface but a part of her wished they might at least try to make it happen. There was this quote she read once, could’ve been in a fortune cookie, might’ve been on a bathroom wall, but it said ‘love is friendship set on fire’. There may not have been a fire exactly when they kissed, but Penny was pretty sure there was a little spark of something, and they had been such good friends before, it just made sense, despite the fact she knew it shouldn’t.

Penny was still mindlessly flipping through channels on the TV as she thought over all of this and couldn’t help but laugh out loud when she realised she just hit a re-run of Firefly.

“Objects in Space,” she whispered as she recognised the opening scene with River walking through the ship, spying on her crew mates, hearing what they were not really saying, but what they felt deep inside.

She came upon Mal and Inara standing on the walkway. The Companion was going to leave and though Mal wanted to stop her and she clearly wished he would, both said nothing.

“Oh my God, you are the most frustrating people!” declared Penny aloud as she threw the nearest pillow right by the edge of the TV screen. “Why can’t you just be together and get happy already?” she pointlessly asked the characters in front of her.

She had said something similar on her latest viewing of the episode with Sheldon, asking his opinion on the relationship that never quite was. He had said that Mal and Inara were both too proud to be the first to admit their feelings. Also, they might be worried about the effect on their friends that operated as a family unit. Sheldon had said he considered Mal too smart to be over-taken by silly romantic notions anyway, and it was likely that because she had known so many lovers of no consequence, Inara had never really been truly in love before to know what it was like.

Penny’s eyes grew wider by the second as she realised how many parallels she was able to draw between all Sheldon had said about Mal and Inara, and her own situation with the physicist himself.

“God, that show works on so many levels!” she said to herself, realising she was being as big an idiot as Inara or Mal if she just sat here wondering and waiting, never just going for it whilst she had the chance.

Penny was up and bolting across the hall in a second, paying no mind to the fact she was still dressed in pyjamas and it was nine in the morning on a Sunday. She had to talk to Sheldon, he had to know how she felt. Hell, he had to feel something for her, after all that he’d said, after asking her to be the first girl he ever kissed. She needed to talk to him, to ask him about it, to get some answers, and give him a few of her own, and it had to be now before her nerve went.

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Sheldon!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Sheldon!”

_Knock, knock, knock_

“Sheldon!”

He looked startled when he finally opened the door, even when Penny couldn’t stop smiling. She shouldn’t tease him with his own knock, she might upset him, but she only meant it in a kind way. Now it seemed like a bad idea as he stared at her is if she were a ghost or an alien or something.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” she checked, only to jump the same moment he did as he pinched his own arm.

“I’m just ensuring I’m awake,” he told her simply. “I’ve been suffering from a recurring dream that begins with you knocking on my door,” he told her.

“Suffering?” Penny echoed the word uncertainly. “You suffer when you dream about me?”

“Perhaps that was a bad choice of words,” considered Sheldon, “Although dreams of such a kind do lead to my waking up rather startled and having problems going back to REM sleep in a timely manner,” he said as he thought on it some. “So, yes, in that sense I suffer, but seeing you within my dreams is by no means unpleasant in itself,” he confirmed.

Penny smiled at that. It was about as close to complimentary as Sheldon ever got, but it was totally worth waiting for such a moment to come around sometimes. Sheldon himself wasn’t quite so open to a smiley expression at this particular moment in time. It had been a long night full of puzzling over Penny and very little sleep, which was filled with more musings about his neighbour when he did find it. The very fact he was trying to find a solution to the conundrum that was his sudden need to be close to her made him realise it was clearly meant to be. No woman, including Amy Farrah-Fowler, had made him feel that he genuinely wished to experience dating, and yet with Penny, it seemed all too clear that the only way to maintain this closeness he felt to her, to experience again what it was like to kiss her, would require dating.

Of course, Sheldon understood he was hardly Penny’s type. The usual size, shape, mentality, and lacking IQ of her boyfriend was such that Sheldon bore no resemblance to a single one. Yes, she had dated Leonard but that had been a train-wreck from start to finish, and the idea of wrecking trains just upset Sheldon all the more.

“Penny,” he said, fighting to concentrate on her appearance at his door over everything else. “What is it that you want?” he asked her.

“Honestly?” she said, feeling ridiculously giddy as she looked up at him. “I, er... I think I kinda might want you,” she admitted.

Sheldon frowned at that. Whilst he was fast realising he had desires where Penny was concerned, albeit they were confusing and completey new to him, he had never really considered she would express an interest in liking him the same way.

“You mean to say... dating?” he tried, causing a grin on Penny’s lips a mile wide.

“I mean to say.” She nodded her head, biting her lip then as she waited for his response that seemed to take forever to come.

“Very well,” he conceded. “I accept your proposal.”

Penny almost laughed, out of some kind of nervous relief, and perhaps because she just realised how crazy this whole scenario seemed. She and Sheldon had just agreed to date. It had to be the wackiest moment of her life, and yet Penny was so completely happy about it. She wanted to kiss him again, and yet when she moved in close, he flinched back some.

“Um, we can take it slow,” she assured him, holding out her hand for him to take instead.

“Do people usually shake hands on an agreement to date?” Sheldon asked her with a frown.

“No, silly!” Penny rolled her eyes. “I want you to take me to the comic book store,” she explained. “Stuart special ordered me Better Days and Those Left Behind, and since I breezed through the others already, I need them.”

Sheldon smiled at her ever present love for Firefly. If nothing else about Penny had ever enchanted him, her being a Browncoat would never grow old.

“An excellent idea,” he agreed, reaching out hesitatingly to take her hand in his own.

“Yeah,” Penny agreed. “I thought it’d be shiny,” she grinned.

“Just one matter to rectify,” said Sheldon before they ever made it to the stairs. “Do you really think its reasonable to go out in the street in your nightwear?” he asked her seriously.

“Tzao gao!” the blonde exclaimed as she slipped her hand from his own and bolted back into the apartment to get dressed.

Sheldon only smiled.


	10. Epilogue - The Shiny Alternative

It was strange to think it was practically a year now since this whole thing started. Of course, even Penny wasn’t so dumb that she really believed that was the start of it all. The moment she had met Sheldon Cooper, something changed, something began, and here they were now facing the one year anniversary of their first date. There was no better place to go than the comic book store, and Penny laughed at herself in the full length mirror that evening as the thought crossed her mind. She was so far removed from geekdom when she first moved into this place. Now she was the faithful and beloved girlfriend of the biggest geek she ever met in her whole life, and she could not have been happier.

She adjusted the wig she wore and smiled then. At least she chose the costumes for this years Halloween bash. Two years ago, she had been less than thrilled, forced into a Wonder Woman costume complete with brunette wig. This time around she chose to put on a similar hairpiece, to become Miss Inara Serra, Companion of the Firefly class ship, Serenity.

The look in her eyes when she emerged from her bedroom ready to leave was enough to shoot down any whore jokes Howard might’ve made. To be honest, she didn’t pay them much mind anyway as her eyes drifted to Sheldon and she saw the smile on his lips.

“What do you think?” she asked him, performing a perfect twirl.

“Very authentic,” he nodded as he looked her over, “and naturally beautiful, as both you and Inara Serra are wont to be.”

“Thank you, sweetie.” Penny grinned in response, taking the arm he offered her, and leading their group of happy friends off to the Halloween party.

They were quite a sight to behold, the entire crew of Serenity in pretty well made costumes and the occasional wig and prop for the sake of authenticity. All eyes turned to them when they entered the comic book store a while later, certain they had just lost out on the first prize to this bunch.

Penny was radiant as Inara on Sheldon’s arm, and he was a pretty dashing captain Mal his ownself, at least that’s how his girlfriend had put it. Maybe they were better suited to Kaylee and Simon in some ways, her being so sunny and happy and him being so smart, but Sheldon absolutely insisted he must be the leader of their group, as always. He was natural Captain material, so he said; nobody dared to argue. That meant Howard and Bernadette got to be the doctor and the mechanic, which kind of suited their height if nothing else, and Bernadette certainly giggled and smiled enough to be sweet little Kaylee. Leonard looked just a little odd in a Hawaiian shirt playing Wash, but Amy was pulling off Zoe, the warrior Amazon, quite well considering. She found her inner ‘tude, as Penny put it, and the replica gun strapped to her side didn’t look at all out of place somehow.

“Why do I have to be the religious dude with no girlfriend?” Raj complained from the back, mostly hidden from view by the other two people to make up the crew.

Zack might seem like an odd choice, but nobody else Sheldon knew was built right to play Jayne Cobb. Besides, whilst he had an IQ akin to an ape, Zack was a pretty nice guy. He didn’t seem at all phased by the fact his ex, Penny, was now dating Sheldon, so it was fine.

Penny and Bernadette had managed to rope in a lonely single girl who worked at the Cheesecake Factory to play River. As luck would have it, Jenny was slim and a natural brunette, and in her blue dress she passed for the little assassin pretty well.

“Now, Raj,” Sheldon admonished him as the Indian guy appeared at his side. “You know Book is much more important than just being of a religious bent,” he explained. “Besides, you were best suited to the role, given your stature and skin tone, and your country’s rich culture,” he explained.

“Yeah, besides, you’re not the only single character,” Penny pointed out to him. “Jayne and River were single too.”

“Er, tell that to those two,” threw in Howard, jerking a thumb over his shoulder to where Zack and Jenny were really going at it.

“Eeew!” the blonde reacted with shock and distaste. “That’s Jayne and River!” she exclaimed, looking decidedly uncomfortable.

“Penny,” her boyfriend sighed, shaking his head at her as if she was just so very tiresome. “Although the pairing is not canon, there are a great number of Browncoats that have made many excellent points as to why River and Jayne, or ‘Rayne’,” he air-quoted, “is a perfectly acceptable pairing,” he explained, continuing in a whisper when Stuart called order. “Remind me to show you prettydeadly.net when we get home.”

There was a long and rambling speech that everyone could have done without, as Stuart waxed lyrical on the wonder of all the costumes, and the welcome new faces in his store, as well as the returning ones. Nobody really cared about any of that, they only wished to know if they had won the costume competition. There was much toe-tapping, sighing, and watch-checking before the store owner finally got to the point.

“And the winner of this year’s Halloween costume competition is... the crew of Serenity!” he declared.

Though groans and sighs emitted from many of the other participants, they were easily drowned out by a nine-person cheer. No-one looked happier than Sheldon that his precious Firefly had been recognised in its greatness amongst those that had not been so inclined to like it before. He looked to Penny and saw her smiling just as brightly as he was, and then suddenly she was hugging him tight, and he was hugging her back, and that warm feeling inside that only ever occurred when he was close to her was ever-present once again.

In the past twelve months, closeness with Penny had become much more agreeable to Sheldon, though he still shied away from physical contact with anyone else. She was just different, special, as unique as any given snowflake or star, as he had once told her, so sincerely that she had cried. Right now, she was just ginning at him, and leaning in for a kiss that he reciprocated, albeit it awkwardly. The only time she still had trouble getting him to show affection was in a crowd of other people, especially those he did not know, but they were working on that.

“We did it!” Penny enthused, still bouncing up and down with everyone else.

“Indeed we did,” her boyfriend agreed, “and earlier than I expected” he said, checking his watch. “Now perhaps we can go home and I can show you the website I was talking about,” he urged her.

Penny was happy to take his hand and be led to the door, but she did not have the Internet on her mind.

“Sweetie, we can go home,” she agreed as he tugged her along, “but I’m not really planning on looking at any websites,” she told him, with a look in her eye he still hadn’t learnt to read almost a year on.

“Then what was your plan?” he asked, oblivious and confused, with one hand on the door to leave and the other held tight in Penny’s own.

“With you dressed up as super-hot badass Captain Mal?” she said, licking her lips as she leaned in incredibly close, enough to send a shiver down Sheldon’s spine as she whispered in his ear; “I aim to misbehave.”


End file.
